my yin and yang

Most people don't get an accurate perception of me on first meeting. My shirts have obnoxious and sometimes humorous sayings like this. I prefer comedy to drama. I like obscure, silly and wildly annoying songs like this. I crochet and quilt and would love to read more. But there is a side of me few people have the misfortune to know. While I prefer light and fluffy things, I have a few hobbies that make normal people cringe. After Daniel was born and a certain mother in Texas drowned her five children, I was drawn to site about infanticide. I read it so much and so long that my husband finally unplugged the computer because I was emotionally wrecked. I shifted my focus to images of the deceased from long ago. It seems it was often the only photo families had (especially of their young children.) So that is how I became an admirer of postmortem photography. I don't get a thrill from the images, instead I have deep respect for the loss (regardless that it was probably a century ago) and curiousity about the lives lived. I even gave a speech in my freshman year at State about postmortem photography. In addition to that, I am driven to work with children. I would love to be able to prevent any horrible thing from happening to any child, but the best alternative I have is the volunteer work I am doing right now. People have expressed that it would just be too depressing to work with these cases. For some that is true, but for me I feel like I am participating in a process that may bring about a change. If people are held accountable and something I did helps that happen, then I can feel good about it. So while I spend my regular days focusing on the lighter side of life, sometimes I pick the scabs off and wallow in some of the darker parts of society. But I promise I am not psycho. Just trying to be balanced. Ying and yang. We all need a little of that... don't ya think?