This morning my friend Melanie/Donutbabe called to invite Aurelia and me over for a walk with her kids. She was amply equipped with strollers and wagons and the like. Her kids were riding in the double stroller and Aurelia decided the wagon was a great thing. About 3/4 of the way through our walk, Aurelia decides now is a good time to get out and pull the wagon herself. (Clearly, her evaluation of my wagon pulling skills left much to be desired). About this time a couple of tagless dogs of a questionable breed decide to begin hanging around. Melanie assures me that she has heard the dogs are harmless. Now Aurelia is pulling the wagon slightly faster than the earth orbits the sun and we are being followed by "friendly" dogs. So, of course, that means it is a good idea to trip and skin her fingers. Quick inspection, everything is fine. I pick her up (so she won't be dog food) and pull the wagon. About twenty feet later, I look over and am shocked to see she looks like she just ate somebody whole. Her skinned fingers were bleeding and she sucks her index finger. The effect was slightly akin to Hannibal Lecter (sp?). But I decided that if necessary, I could use this to scare the dogs by turning her around and letting her do her cutesy kitty meow with her blood covered face.


Later, on the way back from visiting my mother in Charleston, Daniel and I had a conversation. A very bizarre and disconcerting conversation. After being on the subject of going to heaven (he is a little OCD about that) he started to name people he might pick out babies for (which is what he believes people do in heaven). He started to say April, but then decided she would be in heaven first due to her age. Sorry, April. Then, he picked Aurelia. I suggested that, perhaps, he may grow up, have his own kids, and when arriving at heaven he could send babies to them. He said maybe it would be a boy and girl and they would get married. I said, I don't think so. That led to him saying he was going to marry Aurelia. I replied, you can't she is your sister. Then my darling Daniel, who loves me the mostest, said, "You will be in heaven before me. You can't stop me. I'm marrying Aurelia." Um, ok. I just hope he changes his mind before Aurelia has to set him straight. If I had a picture of young girly Damien this morning, he may well have been dissuaded. Oh well, at least we are in WV. (SO SORRY, it had to be said.)

I would like to plug a couple of other blogs.
There is a message board for WV bloggers at
http://www.wvbloggers.com/index.php
Jenny Hobson's blog
http://jennym123.diaryland.com/
and Melanie/Donutbabe's site
www.donutbuzz.com


Night All
Heather

LOST comes back to us next week!! I cannot express my excitement! The doldrums of summer TV are so close to being over.... ahhhhh! None of the newer shows are really grabbing me, but the standards from last year are not disappointing either. The Biggest Loser, Dancing With the Stars, Dirty Jobs, Dog the Bounty Hunter. But I would like to know who is in charge of just pulling shows without a satisfactory resolution. I have spent YEARS wondering if Jared (The Pretender) ever resolved his life (yes, I know, it was a fictional life, but still!). Now I will forever be stymied about the creatures from the shows Invasion and Surface. And to add insult to injury, I believe Medium has been cancelled as well. Perhaps I should watch less television. NAH.

My mother was able to stop in last night on her way home from Oklahoma. She looked well and was far less worried about my Tasmanian devil of a daughter banging into her. We will be going to Charleston to visit her tomorrow evening (she has a birthday Saturday and may even get a present!)

I have been realizing how small our world really is when talking to Melanie (Donutbabe). So many mutual acquaintances, even on the web. Crazy! Good luck with your "situation" this evening, but the way! Let me know how that works out for you!

Night All
Heather

Can't Buy Me Love....

Some of today's special things that a paycheck can't buy

Meeting Daniel's three best friends.
Spending an hour in his class reading about and I quote "Johnny Applesauce"
Walking back from his school on a sunny day, knowing he is glad I was there.
A backpack full of thank you cards from some seriously cute first graders.

I don't have much one on one time with Daniel these days. Poor guy, he was used to having me virtually to himself for four full years. Then came the "Girl". Now she is always around, hogging my time.

Today I was able to break away and read to his class. How I hope this is one of the memories he holds on to when he older. (I'd hate to think he only remembers me threatening to eat him or staring blankly at a television screen)

Night all
Heather

Now that my mother's surgery is over and she is doing well, it is time to resume blogs about my real life.

Aurelia has OCD. She apparently inherited it from her older brother, Daniel. There is an entire list of her OCD targets. Let's review

1. My hair.
2. Shoes (taking them off, putting them on, smelling them, making me smell them)
3. Saying "Eew" (about everything)
4. Cats (Meows of the world beware)
5. People leaving the room (it shouldn't be done, unless she is glad to see you go. You will know that she is glad because she will wave and blow kisses.)
6. Anything that belongs to Daniel (she vehemently declares "MINE" and runs off)
7. My cell phone (has to have keys locked so she can pretend to talk to Daddy)
and my favorite
8. The telephone and remote control should always be in Mommy's hand. If Daddy has it, she creeps up beside him, grabs it, and runs off yelling "mommyYYYYYYYYYYY". I didn't even have to teach her this trick!!

Gotta run! She needs her shoes from from behind the desk (where I tried to hide them)
Heather

I talked to Mom early this morning. She sounded a little raspy (from the breathing tube during surgery) and said her drainage tubes had been removed before I called. She is tired, but feeling good. Finally over that vertigo sensation that was making her so nauseous. Wednesday she has a follow up visit from her surgeon and expects to be heading home shortly after. YAY!

This week has been a little wrenching. I never felt like something would go wrong, but anytime there is anticipation and worry, especially long distance, for someone as close as your own mother it is so much better to have the event behind you. Thanks again to everyone who has been so supportive and kind. You are always that way, but it got noticed alot more this week.

Night all.
Heather

As of around five oclock this evening, Dad reports that Mom is feeling comfortable and was awake and talking today. She may even call to talk when she feels up to it. She only has a little case of vertigo. Things are going quite well. Not much more to say tonight.
Love
Heather

Only one subject of importance today. My mom had her surgery, everything went very well, and she is recovering (at last report) very nicely.

Dad called at around 9 this morning to say they had just taken her back. He expected they would start operating within half an hour. She had told me the surgery would last around 4-5 hours, so I was prepared to have to wait until late afternoon for a call.

A little after one o'clock, Dad called to say all went well. I was a little apprehensive to get a call so soon and a little scared to answer the phone.

I will post any new updates when I get them.
Thank you for all your prayers and well wishes.
Love
Heather

I spent a half hour composing a post about my dorkiness, Aurelias playdate (yet clothed and diapered) poop, Cory's grades and my mom's surgery. Then I spellchecked for one word. Lost the whole damn thing.

I will post tomorrow.
Heather+

Cory snagged two more A midterms today!! This means that as of now we know he is passing English, Algebra, and JROTC. YAY Cory!!! (Or Adam as he known elsewhere.

I went to Charleston this morning to say goodbye to my mom. That was harder than I ever imagined it would be. There is absolutely nothing I can do when she is halfway across the country. Her surgery will be 9 oclock Oklahoma time on Wednesday morning. The hours between now and the call that everything went well will drag, so comments and calls are welcomed and encouraged.

The decision was made last night that I would not go in for the interview. I had already gone round and round about how I could make it work well for everyone. The time in which unattended children would be home was a concern. After I made the call, Jenny from up the street was very nice to call and offer me good luck tomorrow. She even offered to have Daniel over on the evenings I would have worked.( If you are reading this Jenny, thank you so much. That really meant so much to me. ) I have mentioned before that I never envisioned myself as a stay at home mom, but I guess if I am going to do just this one thing, I should strive to do it well.

The creatures are getting restless, so I hope you all have a goodnight.
Heather

Just a proud mention of my younger cousin Christopher Parker. He was married this past summer to his high school sweetheart, Nikki Meadows. They are a super couple of people. He has been mentioned on the website of the 82nd Airborne Div. (This will not, however, erase the memory of his hyper little boy self flinging himself on my stomach as I lay in granma's floor watching TV, or climbing up the walls (literally) like Spiderman.)

Here is the link

http://www.bragg.army.mil/82dv/Manifest Call/SPC Parker/Parker.htm

My mom leaves for her surgery tomorrow. I have spent a little time looking at the description of the procedure, but it is a little frightening. My tiny mom is going to have her ribs cracked, her heart stopped and her body cooled to 27 degrees Celsius. I have to admit I am scared. She is a strong woman and she never lets on that she doesn't feel a hundred percent. The crazy thing has moved entire rooms of furniture, by herself, frequently. But life is fragile and I want her around for a long time. This is my mom:









Keep her in your positive thoughts, please.
Thanks
Heather

Cory's single class midterm (English) was ........ are you sitting down.............really you will want to sit down..............100%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have not seen grades even remotely that good for the last five years!!! CONGRATULATIONS CORY!! He has been told that the other teachers did not give out midterms unless you were failing.... I asked him to get one anyway on Monday. Again, fingers crossed!

The job joy is wearing off as the logistics reality sets in. I am torn between really wanting to get out of the house and knowing that leaving Cory in charge of the little ones (even for less than an hour twice a week) could result in a homicide. I still plan to go on the interview at least (never pass up the opportunity to feel like an actual grown human!)

We had three playdates this week. Two with Melanie, Seth, and Lydia and one with Jenny and Eleanor. Daniel says Jenny's name like Forrest Gump and Aurelia is a little OCD about Jenny's three-legged cat. Meow, Meow.

Melanie's cats are safe (for now) because they were not in her line of sight. Be forewarned cat owners, my daughter will love your cats... possibly to death. She is convinced they are always hungry and will try to force feed them at all opportunities.

This weekend should be quiet and uneventful, we hope. I hope you all enjoy yours!
Heather

In the several days since my last post very little has happened. I have been worried about my mom (she leaves for open heart surgery in Oklahoma on Monday). She will be traveling cross country in the car with my Dad..... I hope and pray they both make it back without killing each other.

Aurelia went tinkle a little in her potty yesterday. It sort of freaked her out and she stood up and peed the rest on the floor, but it's a start.

I went to a mommy's night out with some new friends. Being the social butterfly that I am I all the blood rush to my face the few times that I actually spoke about me. When the newness wears off though, these women should beware. I may never shut up.

Cory had his first random drug test of the year and passed with flying colors. Those of you who are not familiar with our policy should note that instead of constantly wondering and accusing him we simply give him a test. When he passes there is no need to defend himself. We give him the test for everything all in one and everyone rests easier. He also gets his first midterm today. Fingers crossed!!!

Daniel's new obsession is the Venus Flytrap. Apparently his new best friend Jacob talks about having one. This has led Daniel to earnestly talk about, wish for, and ask for one. Where does a person even buy a Venus Flytrap? In Cincinnati???? (WKRP humor).......(crickets, silence).....

And for the grand finale..........I have been asked to come in for an interview at the library. My understanding from the brief conversation I had is that it is for a position at the reference desk. It would be just two evenings a week and every other weekend.
I wouldn't be rolling in any massive cash, but I would have the joy of brain activity that did not involve Teletubbies or Venus Flytraps or urine samples.

Take care
Heather

CAUTION: Extremely gross account of my disgusting day!!!

My daughter, the nudist, has struck again. While I was on the phone with a friend, she pooped in the corner of the living room! And I have been finding stray nuggets all day!!!!!!

I am going to donate her to Goodwill. Or I am going to check into boarding school... for me.

My older two children have been quite sedate in comparison to their young sister. No one has been suspended from school or clogged a toilet or anything!

I have nearly finished off the first skein of yarn in my crochet project. I am the fast track to nowhere.

Short entry tonight. Homework to get done and stray poop to find. We are having a playdate tomorrow and I don't want anyone to have any unauthorized snacks (uncontrollable laughter).

Heather

My parenting skills are really being called into question these days. Over the weekend, I promised to make Daniel a turkey sandwich. Later that evening, it dawned on me that I never remembered making a sandwich. So I asked Daniel.

Did I make you a sandwich?

No

Are you hungry?

No

Are you sure?

Yeah, you made me scrambled eggs and gave me some M&M's.

OH.

Then yesterday, Aurelia was in the bathroom staring at the baby in the mirror. She started smacking the baby and yelling what sounded like..."I gonna beat your butt". PLEASE NOTE... I do not beat the baby. But I may have said I was gonna.


So those of you considering leaving your children to me in your will should really evaluate your moral and ethical problems.

On a non-child related note, I have made some time to start a new crocheting project. A long overdue blanket for my friend E. Hopefully it will be complete before next summer.

Thanks to those that bother to leave comments. It gives me a small bit of happy in an otherwise hum drum day.

Toodles
Heather

Ted has been working alot of overtime this week. And by alot, I mean close to sixteen hours plus a day. So I have been home alone with the kids for the past eight days. I'm tired.

Nancy brought Destiny down today and we all (she, me, Desi, Aurelia, and Daniel) walked to Ritter Park. We managed to squeeze a full lap around the park and some good play time in. Then we walked back to our house and over to Baskin Robbins. I was so glad to have her visit. Adult conversation is at a premium these days.

Like I mentioned before, I am tired. The kids have pushed all the limits this week and have been noisy to boot. But I just finished my nighttime routine with Aurelia and I discovered something great. Even when I am tired, worn out, irritated, and all the other things that normal life makes us, a few minutes after we turned out the lights and laid down on the couch things started making my heart stir. The music we were listening to was an encore Mountain Stage performance on NPR. Nothing out of the ordinary. But as we settled in and I was able to take a deep breath and relax a little, I kept thinking how much my heart is full. I am lucky to have so many good people in my life and so many blessings. She nodded off and I waited the required time before I could pick her up and carry her to bed. Those few precious moments in the dark and near silence reminded me that all we have to do to find some euphoria is take a little time to see it.

So tonight I am going to listen to a little music, eat a few Oreos, and relish my life.

Night all.
Be well.
Heather

Ok. I am officially talking to myself. Not a single post to comments or a single personal email in the past few days. Thanks, thanks very much. You hounds.

So much of our family interactions happen in the bathroom. Does this make us strange?

Last night, Daniel was being told to go number 2, because he just doesn't go of his own free will.
Daniel is convinced that if I squeeze my hands together and squint really hard that it helps him go. He says I am squeezing him in my mind. For a full ten minutes last night my mind was really squeezing. I never envisioned this segment of life. My fantasy of the future did not entail body functions being such a joint venture. Which leads me to


Today, Aurelia was playing with the bathroom faucet...... while I was in the bathroom otherwise occupied. I said no in apparently a much too harsh tone and she broke down. HUGE tears, snot flowing, hiccupings sobs. So I was forced to comfort her while in the bathroom otherwise occupied. Did I mention that the shower door is a mirror? Did I mention that this is AGAIN NOT what I had envisioned my life to be?????? Just checking!!

Our song for today is

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you.

Go ahead, get it stuck in your head too........
Heather

PLEASE NOTE.... We have changed our cell phone numbers so that they are local to our new area. We will gladly give you the new number just please send me an email or note to let me know you need it.


Aurelia's doctors appointment was today and she is growing like a weed. She has gained a pound and a half and grown an inch in the last month!!!

Weight 27 lbs and 12oz.
Height 37inches

The doctor did detect what he called a physiological heart murmur. He said as long as she doesn't become lethargic and fatigued that she will most likely grow out of it.

Cory (Adam) has been invited -and accepted-- to his female friend Bailey's church for services this evening. He wants to ask her to homecoming. Looks like his adjustment to the new area is going quite well.

I have been invited to a "mommy's night out" next week with some of the mothers in our area. I am really looking forward to it. It will be great to have an evening out with adults that share some of the same things I do.

I hope everyone is well. Take care.
Heather

Today is the day of the actual appointment for Ms. Thing. She is sporting her birthday skirt and blouse from her granma Faye for the occasion. We talked to Granma last night (she is in Maine with her sisters). They took a three hour cruise to see Nova Scotia and she spent the majority of it hugging the latrine. Apparently, Granma was very seasick. Poor Granma....:0(

I have several questions for our two year check up....

1) Is there a cure for selective hearing?
2) Is a daily dose of Nyquil such a BAD thing?
3) Can you recommend a support group for the mothers of baby nudists?
4) Will her finger really fall off if she keeps chewing it?


The other night, I was in desperate need of a shower. The only reasonable thing to do was ask Cory (Adam) to watch Aurelia while I got cleaned up. Five minutes I was gone and I hear her scream in the hallway outside the bathroom. I yell to Cory (Adam): "What happened?"
In sheer disgust, he answers: "She took off her clothes and I am trying to get them back on her."

OK.

"Just let her run around for a second. I am almost done and I will get her.", I yell back.

Silence.


Mere moments later Cory (Adam) is back at the door, knocking loudly.

ME: What?!
Cory: She pooped!!!!!
ME: I am almost finished. I' ll change her when..........
Cory: NOOOOO! She pooped in the floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME: Oh!?


Moral of the story: Sew the clothes onto your children, super glue the diapers on. The indignity of picking up baby poo from your TV room floor with a paper towel is unbearable. Not to mention the gagging that will be induced in the older siblings who happen to be present.


Anyone wanna trade lives??????
I didn't think so.
Still love ya though.
Heather

Ok. Mommy Alzheimers has a serious grip on me. I thought today was her dr. appt. Not til tomorrow. All dressed up and no place to go. SIGH.......

I have two requests for those of you who are reading this blog.

1.) I am seeking a vacation destination that isn't tooooo far from here. Possibly along the Eastern shore. I would love to hear any recommendations about places to go, houses to rent, things to see and do. You can email me directly OR

2) I would really like to see comments filling up. I feel like I am talking to myself. The comments on this blog actually work. All you need to do is click and type. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have very little company in our new home and I would love to hear from you.
Thank you.

Rosie O starts on the View today. No one I know likes her, but I remember her from the VH1 Stand up Spotlight VJ days. I think she is hilarious and I actually agree with many of her political views. Sorry Republican friends. So that is the highlight of my day........watching the View..... unless you send me comments. C'mon you know you want to...... :0)

Heather

I give up..... this domestic goddess declares there is no reason to ever vacuum again. My hair and the spiderwebs are just going to keep coming back. Why continue this exercise in futility? I will instead learn to use a loom and weave all of this previously undesirable crap into a lovely carpet for my home (which I will never vacuum!!)

Ted is working a lot of overtime this week and the kids and I are on the verge of a civil war. School needs to hurry up and come back. The older two are only allowed to watch one hour of television each. They get bored and irritated with each other very quickly.Then they turn on me.

Aurelia has her two year check up tomorrow. She is asleep now after sprawling out in my lap with her foot on my cheek and insisting that I hold her nose up like a pig. What a dainty creature!! The other night I noticed some lights shining on her as we did our nightly ritual. What I discovered were that there were no lights, her brand new pajamas have little glow in the dark dots all over them. Kind of neat!!

After cleaning off our computer desk, I have also discovered that the majority of things in our house are not anything we need. In fact, I would go so far as to say we have over 50% trash. We think we are holding on to it for some GOOD reason, but it's just plain laziness. I have over six containers of toys in the basement from our move and they will be finding new homes soon.

NOTE: It has been several weeks and still not one of our children have noticed that we no longer have a D O G. This speaks volumes....

Take care
Heather

Ted's dad was released from the hospital in Ohio today. For those of you who are not familiar with is situation, he has had a bad hip replacement that resulted in an infection. That was four years ago. After their visit to our new house in June, Ben was bedfast and unable to get around on his own. A doctor at the Cleveland Clinic finally agreed to take his case and he was taken to Ohio. A week later they operated to remove the bad hip and found a pocket of infection. They placed some sort of body concrete instead of hip back in and prescribed a six week (2x a day) IV course of antibiotics. He spent the last part of his stay in a rehab hospital going through various sorts of physical and occupational therapy.

Now he will be home for about a month. After that they will make the roughly six hour trip back to Cleveland for a hip aspiration to see if the infection is gone. Five days from that, if there is no infection, they will schedule his surgery to place a permanent hip replacement. The other hip needs to be replaced too, so they will wait until his recovery from the first hip to operate on the other side. Ben and Peggy have a rough few months behind them and another rough few months ahead of them. We are hoping for the best and quickest recovery so Ben can get back to being independent. I can't imagine how hard it must be.

While Ted has been in Beckley today assembling a handicap entrance for them, the kids and I have taken a trip to the dreaded WALMART. Why do I continue to shop in a store that has everything except what I need? Daniel needed a raincoat, they had none. We bought a mini umbrella. Aurelia needed a light jacket, they had none. We bought a whole new wardrobe for her. (Sadly enough, she is a 3T top and bottom now--the bottoms are little loose, but the 2T are too small). Daniel needed a light jacket, but by the time I had threatened each of their lives I left without one. They probably didn't have one anyway. LOL.

Daniel is sitting on the couch right now listening to my new MP3 player. I have checked out several different CDs from the library and put them on the player. His tastes are very in line with mine. He is enamored with the top billboard hits of the 60's right now. At anytime, he may break out singing "Surfin USA" or "These Boots Are Made For Walkin". He has a silly little grin on his face when he sings. I love it.

Cory has an ex-girlfriend (Drew) who has been calling all day. She only has my cell phone number, but she has been blowing the thing up. Soon, all the girls will be calling and he may actually want to talk to some of them. He seems to be adjusting fairly well, making friends, and noticing older girls "checking him out". I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he said..........................."A job". Um, ok. Have at it, big boy!

Aurelia is FINALLY taking a nap for the day. I'd better wrap this up and make the best of this quiet, non-naked time.

Take care.
Heather

It's Saturday morning and the first week of school is in the bag. No problems! What a relief! My friend, Robin, left me a comment, and her son Dean seems to be doing AOK as well. YAY!!!

I have had several revelations this week. My daughter is determined to become the most clingy and possibly the youngest nudist in the world. When she isn't hanging from the end of my locks, she is shedding all layers and running around the house. Her brothers are none too happy about the frequent displays of anatomy. I am seriously considering duct tape. But she is learning to say "Please, Daniel" before she rips whatever he is holding from him. And she does have the common decency to say "Thank you, Daniel" after she takes it and leaves him in a heap of tears.

But I will not discourage her confidence. When I was growing up, I was always amazed at how cool and collected others seemed. I wanted to have their good looks, confidence, style, coordination, whatever the cool thing was. But as I have grown I have realized a few things. While I may not be the coolest or most coordinated or stylish nobody else really is either. They have a few things that seem great, but they are just juggling life like me. Everybody, including myself, has strengths and weaknesses. And none of us should ever feel less than, because one simple fact remains true for eternity..........Everybody and I mean everybody farts. There is no getting around it. If you ever feel intimidated or overshadowed by someone else or their strengths, just remember that little tidbit. You'll feel better. Promise.

Today is a day for shopping. We need raincoats and umbrellas and long pants for the baby. Not that she will keep the pants on, I suppose.

Penny, if you are reading this post, I am going to share the video you sent me. I think it was hilarious. My aunt shared this viral video with me last week. It is a group of guys dancing on treadmills. I would break my everloving neck just standing on one.

Enjoy

http://youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI