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Thursday, May 01, 2008

Dentist day gone south

As some of you already know, my kids love the dentist. When the first visit is over there is a countdown until they get to go again. This visit was a little different.

There are two dentists in this pediatric practice and the taller of them was seeing Aurelia. He noticed her misaligned front teeth and asked if she sucked her thumb. Oh, if it were only that easy! No, my girl crooks her right index finger, sticks it in her mouth, and commences to chewin' the ever lovin' hide off of it. She has a callous at the base WITH TEETHMARKS! She is serious when it comes to the finger. We have surfed the web, used every suggestion available to get her to stop. This sweet, innocent doctor suggested that we wrap an ace bandage around her elbow, so that when she bends her arm it will be a gentle reminder she shouldn't bite her finger. Well that my friends is a hoot! Because this little princess has ripped off clothing, scaled gates, and shit in the floor to avoid conforming to your average expectations and she ain't about to stop now. Oh, we'll try it, I'm just sayin' we ain't about to bet the house, if you know what I mean.

Moving right along, my sweet Daniel has always loved the dentist, too. But we live about a half an hour away from their office and he gets a little queasy on the ride there. He'd said his stomach was hurting in the car. But once we got there he rushed in and played air hockey until he was called back. The dental chairs are all lined up and have flat screen televisions (tuned to Cartoon Network, of course) on the ceiling. So he just stretched out and waited his turn. The doctor came and looked him over while the assistant was cleaning Aurelia's teeth. Braces, but we already knew that. The kids got my teeth, not Ted's. But when the assistant came to clean she broke out the bad tasting, gritty junk they rub on the teeth. Daniels eyes watered and his face contorted. She sat him up for a minute and when he recovered she started again. I'm not sure why they did away with the little spit sinks in a dentist's office, but now they have these little suction tubes they lovingly shove in your mouth and tell you to kiss (which frankly grosses me out). Daniel felt this was a personal affront and as he closed his lips around the hose he puked! It just shot right into that suction and the nurse, looking puzzled, said, "Did you just throw up?" Um, duh! And because some of it got on his shirt, he rode home barechested and unhappy. Fortunately, he is resourceful and used the half hour ride home to tell me all about what he should do since he you know. All he needed was a good meal. Some chicken soup.... instead he ate a hot dog. GAG.

T-minus six months and counting!

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