Things I didn't know I was good at til I had to do them

Having a forty-plus minute internet relay conversation on my cell phone with a concerned deaf parent, while tending to four chatty children, drinking pretend tea (and feigning my enthusiasm), and eating a real cookie.

Logically explaining to my daughter that she cannot save the rotten pumpkin that is leftover from Halloween unless she wants to mop up it's disgusting, yucky slime and deal with the WICKED EVIL odor.

Surviving the rapid fire farting of a roomful of children on any given afternoon. These kids gang up and just let em rip. They also need to know the odor eater. Just sayin'.

Discreetly suffering in the driver's seat as I transport my odorific teenager and his equally odorific friends back from practice without ripping off my nose and throwing it out the window. I didn't even say "Pewwwww". But I wanted to.

Eduring hours of Daniel speaking to me confidently about subjects he has no basis in reality to speak to me about. Like parenting and DNA scanners.