Thoughts on aging

A nod to Buzzardbilly for inadvertently inspiring this entry with her musings about dog mess.

In my family history, the older people become the less they are inclined to share the same room with their spouse. My grandparents, great-grandparents, and now sometimes my own parents had separate bedrooms. It may or may not have been a reflection of their affection for one another, but I will assume it was not. I believe my DNA is infused with a tendency to separate oneself from the gross and unattractive things people do as they age. Snoring, farting, coughing, incontinence, night sweats, and the like are all feasible reasons to get a nice mattress for the spare room.

Ted and I have a few ground rules for the future:

1. Til the children are grown I will be predominantly responsible for cleaning up messes that include their bodily fluids.
2. He will be responsible for tending to me when I am ill or out of commission (rarely) and I will do my best to help him if needed.
3. Separate bedrooms will be required immediately the first time incontinence on the part of one rudely awakens the other.
4. In our elderly, golden years it will be necessary for Theodore to have a nurse available 24/7 to tend to any doody pants. If I am left in charge of said doody pants, my only promise is that I will pressure wash the doody from a minimum of ten feet away. Any pat drying will be done with a towel draped stick from at least the aforementioned distance. NO EXCEPTIONS.

I believe we will sail gracefully into our non-children years having established where we stand on these issues. Gotta let 'em know where ya draw the line. Yup, that's my motto.