Lighter moments

I have three unrelated stories of varying humor.

1. Over this past year, I have received numerous thank you cards, notices, and invitations from actual teachers with fairly common words that are misspelled. The most recent was the word definitely. Spelled definately. I have even gone so far as to correct a teachers spelling on the dry erase board in my son's first grade class. I could not help myself. But I still have to give the teachers their props. I haven't got the patience to deal with the little creatures. And I would be teaching them new words that would offend no matter how they were spelled.

2. On a trip to Bob Evans with my mother a while back we fought over the check as usual. My mother is notorious for snapping bones in the wrestle for a bill. Like a meal at Bob's is going to bankrupt whoever she is with. She won that round and traipsed her gloating heiny right up to the cashier. She placed the bill and $21 on the counter. The woman just looked at her expectantly. Mom looked back at her quizzically. Mom was waiting for her receipt and the cashier was waiting for the rest of the bill. My poor mother had given quite a tip, the only problem was she was paying the time stamp on the bill. (It is recorded in military time and was something like $18.26). We laughed so hard in the car that adult diapers were needed.

3. My recent volunteer work has led me to some mentoring opportunities with teens. A local bus driver was already doing some of this work and brought me in under his wing. On my first day, I was winding down a session with three girls. The man popped in to say it was time for them to change classes. The dark haired girl in the trio said she had to do a report on Harriet Tubman, so I piped up and offered my tidbit of knowledge. "Maybe I can help you get some extra credit. I happen to know that Harriet Tubman was narcoleptic. She was struck in the head with a weight by a former owner when she was a child." The girl stared at me blankly. The blonde on her right said after a moment,"Does that mean she steals stuff?" I explained that no, she didn't steal things. She would fall asleep at awkward and unpredictable times. Then the girl on the far right said "I wonder if she fell asleep on the road?"

The bus driver said without a flicker of humor "Nah, if she was that bad off, they wouldn'ta give her a drivers license."

No one in that room registered even the most remote flicker of knowing how wrong that was. Harriet Freaking Tubman?! The Underground Railroad?! Really, noone. Are you serious?

Alrighty then!