Ooopsies

My daughter held me hostage today. I was forced to change liquid poop and practice the ancient art of foot binding with leftover ribbons we found in my craft crate. During the day, she wore a bow in her hair, had a Ms. America sash, was a present, and a Native American. It was great.

The oldest added an entire package of Hormel pepperoni to a can of Chef Boyardee's ABC pasta with meatballs. Then he washed it down with eggnog and ate some mini chocolate chip Teddy Grahams. (Shiver, gulp, grimace.)

The middle child was sent to the principals office for punching two of his friends while his entire grade was at the Clay Center. He bloodied one boys lip. He may or may not make it to Christmas. But I am definitely calling Santa.

My children have nothing on me, however. I destroyed a beloved toy of my friends child. I will be dreaming of my failure to maintain socially acceptable behavior at the homes of others tonight. I think I must go searching on Ebay for its replacement. In lieu of that, perhaps I can interest her in a Wiggles/Lazytown dance pad.