Tubes and other forgotten treasures

Today I was reduced to a laughing heap because my son Daniel had a nervous breakdown over a paper towel tube. You read correctly, a paper towel tube. He shut down all responses, save for the hysterical crying, and that increased once the company he had left (for Paper Towel Tube related reasons.) So here is a list of things I am dumbfounded by from my children this week:




Cory/Adam can eat three soft tacos with pepperjack cheese and pepperoni as toppers. He washes this down with the largest glass we have full of eggnog. Lowfat eggnog. Then as the last bite is barely past his lips and falling down his throat he asks" Can I have some ice cream?"






Daniel (aside from melting down over household items) spent this entire evening wearing his new jacket. His rather heavy new jacket. When asked by Donutbabe if he wanted to take it off, he replied, No Thank You. Vehemently. BTW, their house is no where near the North Pole and they do have heat. Bless his heart.



Aurelia wants to tell me Daniel is at school every five minutes and then ask me if he is ok. She is never tired of that hobby. Although it does have a leg up on her farting obsession. She likes to pass the gas, proclaim ew, wave her butt and laugh. Not only does she look just like her father, well she acts just like him too. :0)


My children, gotta love em. I guess.




The right hand pic is Daniel after a park fall. In my mind, it was him today. :0)






For additional gift ideas, check out Jenny's link. She has several ideas as well. She has also been very bloggy today, considering she was witness to aforementioned Paper Towel Tube incident.







Night All



Heather

Please do not read todays post if you are already sad.

I am sad today. I was happy this morning. Nothing bad has happened in my family. Everyone is well. But I am still sad.

The View had a special today about adopting out of the foster care system. There are so many children that need good, safe homes. I always thought I would be one of those people. But I didn't marry a man with the same views in that area (he is no less a good man, but he isn't up to that challenge.) Then I realized that I may not be up to it either. I spend portions of my day wondering how I can be shed of my own children. That realization coupled with the overwhelming number of needy children makes me sad.

I went to Walmart for a few things this evening. On the way, I noticed the cemetery man again. Just seeing him makes me sad (even though I have seen a couple of ladies there talking to him on two separate occasions.). But on the way home, I drove slowly, considering whether I would stop if he was still there. I had seen him there on a rainy day holding his umbrella over the flowers on the grave and it nearly broke my heart. As I drove past, he was still there, sitting by the flowers. He leaned over, kissed the gravestone, and laid down on the ground. I cried. There was no way I could intervene with good conscience in that moment. Maybe I shouldn't be concerned at all. But I feel as if this a test of my personal constitution. I don't believe we are tested by higher powers. We aren't that important. But I believe we test ourselves. I don't know if I am passing. It doesn't look good tonight.

I count my blessings for each of you who care about me and mine. I care deeply for all of you and hope you are well tonight.

Love
Heather

Christmas Shopping Tips

I have been loathed by my close friends for years because of my advance planning for holidays. I like to be prepared and find appropriate and heartfelt gifts. I also like to milk my dollar. I have compiled for those of you still shopping a list of my favorite shopping links, as well as a few that I have yet to test.

1. Ebay---- if you brainstorm about the person you are shopping for, you will find something, oftentimes for a dollar or so, that they will love and cherish.

2. Overstock.com---especially good for electronics

3. Big Lots---You may have to go several times, but there is usually something worth buying.

4. yorkphoto.com----you can have personalized gifts made with your own photos for reasonable prices and fast shipping.

5. photostamps.com---- you can turn treasured family photos into useful postage stamps. Good for those relatives far away.

6. Clearance bins of any sort---This requires some time and ingenuity, but never pass up a clearance bin without a good solid look through.

7. Memory gifts----These also require a little thought, but the recipient will feel very loved (or so we hope). You just assemble a three ring binder with pictures and stories about the loved one and decorate.

8. Handmade gifts---With the help of stores like Michaels and AC Moore, even fairly unhandy people like myself can assemble a clock or paint some ornaments for a loved one.

9. Gifts.com----this search engine will show you what people in your loved ones general demographic might enjoy. Many of these items will be overpriced, but there is an occasional item that is either affordable or triggers another idea.

10. Gift certificates or cash---many people dislike these as impersonal gifts, but difficult to buy for loved ones may appreciate not getting those singing boxer shorts or dancing/singing fish to hang on the wall.

Enjoy my tips. But friends and family, please don't buy for me and mine. We are attempting to teach our children that Christmas is a time for sharing love and time with family and friends, not anxiously (and greedily) planning out what their haul might be.

Night all and Happy Holidays!
Heather

MMMMM MMMM Good

I drove my youngest son to Charleston today for a check up with his ear, nose, and throat doctor. (He had tubes put in and his adenoids removed shortly before we moved.) When I arrived at the doctors office I had one of those "DOH" moments when the receptionist said his appointment isn't until the 30th. At least I got to see my mom for about an hour.

Our neighbor was over today with her little girl and commented on Adam's appetite. I am so glad I am not the only one to see that he is a walking hunger pain! After wolfing down a sandwich in record time, he went to Baskin Robbins and came back with TWO large shakes. The order ahead of his was messed up, so they gave it to him. Oy!

I am baking brownies. I will eat too many. I wonder where my son gets his eating habits.

Heather

The Good The Bad and The UGLY

Good news first:

Adam/Cory was randomly drug tested yesterday and was spotless. Yippee!

And although his school bus was in a minor accident yesterday, no one was injured! Double Yippee!

Aurelia did not have to have shots at our appointment this week. No more until she is FOUR!

Ted is on the mend from his unfortunate bout with a stomach virus.

Bad news:

Daniel didn't like being told no, so he went to sleep.

Eleanor came to play, he assumed non-talking mode.

Ugly news:

After a routine inspection of his folders, it was discovered that Adam had seen a movie called Orgazmo last year in school. (Via a note he had). Did I mention this is a movie about two porn stars--- one wears a phallus on his head! Rated NC-17?!

Noticing a disturbing lack of towel-like laundry coming from the aforementioned Adam's room, I asked him how he had been drying off after baths. Now, as a standard rule, I expect the answers I get from my children to be totally void of logic and try to brace myself. But the following conversation leaves me speechless:

Me: How are you drying yourself?

Adam: I've been airdrying as the water drains.

Me: (pause, blink) But where are the washcloths? How are you washing?

Adam: I've been using the sponges you bought for me to scrub my tub with.

Me: (scratch head, blink, furrow brow) The ones you are supposed to throw away every couple of uses?

Adam: OH?!

(Ted in the background shaking his head)

Me: From now on, let it be known that you MUST use a towel and washcloth every time you bathe. Clean ones!

Ted: (puzzled, puzzled look) Why haven't you been using a towel?

Adam: You didn't bring any to my room..........................................................................

Ted: WHAT!?!?!?! @^%&$*(&%&, You are FIFTEEN!!!! (the rest was unintelligible.....)

The remainder of the evening Ted and I shook our heads and pondered if we can survive the 2 years, 10 months, and 19 days until he is a legal adult. But then we have to consider, the littlest one will still be here, blowing our minds, for at least another, 15 years, 9 months, and 13 days. Yippee!

Heather

A rose by any other name

I have been asked about my daughters unusual name nearly every day. Most recently, my neighbor Chris asked where it came from. I gave the standard short version ,"It was my great grandmothers name." But I will use this venue to further expand on the origin and meaning of her name.

I have two older sons and desperately wanted a girl. My oldest should thank the stars above he was born male (I had the delusion I would name a daughter Heaven Leigh.... way too much VC Andrews in my teenage years). I wanted to name this much desired daughter after my great grandmother. I was fortunate enough to have her in my life until I was 23 years old. I miss her.

When deliberating middle names (because I just couldn't use the Agnes that was Granma's middle name), Elizabeth was my first choice. My grandmother (Original Aurelia's daughter) likes to think I named her Elizabeth after Original Aurelia's sister. Libby was the same age as my Granma Frances and they were more like sisters. The name is actually the middle name of my best friend from childhood (Laura).

Now the meaning of her names combined is the equivalent of "Golden Oath to God". Not intended, but great nonetheless.

Aurelia is also the name of Julius Caesar's mother, a city in Iowa, a genus of jellyfish, a synonym for chrysalis, a hymn by Samuel Sebastion Wesley, a crater on Venus, a hypothetical Earth-sized planet orbiting a red dwarf star, a ship in the US Navy, the first Portugese gay dictionary (circa 2006), an 1855 book by Gerard Nerval, and a northwestward road in Rome.

I have no further comment.

Heather

Puke O Rama

The last few days have been a tad on the icky side. My youngest two children have had some puke-o-licious partying and I have been on the wrong side of that party. Windows have been flung open, doors have been left ajar, laundry has been washed and rewashed, Febreze and enzyme odor eaters abound, baths have been given (ad nauseum), and teeth have been brushed. I believe we are over the hump. But, for those of you who have experienced sick children, no amount of tooth brushing will rid the breath of a pukey kid. So to that end, I dedicate todays blog lyrics (a song by the INFECTIOUS GROOVES, You lie and yo breath stank) to my children!!

A clip of the following song can be played from this link:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000027KR/alaskajimcom03-20

You lie and yo breath stank you lie and yo breath stank
Save your time don't give me that speech
And use that time to go brush your teeth
A good mouthwash would be a start
Cause your breath done smell like your mouth done a fart

You lie and yo breath stank
So bad it makes it hard to think
You lie and yo breath stank
Smells just like it's a septic tank
You lie and yo breath stank you lie and yo breath stank

Damn homeboy won't you chew on some gum
ou smell like a mixture of chili dogs and rum
Don't be cheap and just chew on a stick
Throw in the whole pack and chew on it quick

You lie and yo breath stank
So bad it makes it hard to think
You lie and yo breath stank
Rolls me over like a Sherman tank
You lie and yo breath stank you lie and yo breath stank
Open your mouth the whole room stunk
You need a chisel to hammer off the funk
Your breath would turn a shirt into lint
So do us all a favor and suck on a mint

You lie and yo breath stank you lie and yo breath stank
Open your mouth just another lie
What's that smell did somethin' die
A funky kind of stank that makes you go phew
Took a wiff straight out it was coming from you

You lie and yo breath stank
So bad it makes it hard to thank
You lie and yo breath stank
So bad damn your breath is rank

Damn yo breath stank

Night all
Heather

Reasons my husband loves me

My husband is a nice man. Why he married me is a mystery. I recounted, just yesterday, the romantic tale of our nuptials to my neighbor, Jenny. See, Ted and I never "dated". We met while he was in college and I was a working stiff. We remained friends for years. He decided that if he was going to get married, he'd like to marry me. I decided against that offer. The next year, we were cleaning up at his house after cooking out (still totally not dating) and I said "Why not?!" Two months later, we were wed. In between the decision and the BIG DAY, we had discussions about life issues, just to be sure we were on the same page. We discussed our political views, plans for future children, where we would live, who had what pre-existing debt and assets, you know romantic junk. I clearly remember saying to him,"I am not a nice woman and I don't really plan to get any nicer." I am pretty sure he wasn't paying attention.



Here are five reasons my husband loves me:



1. I enjoy cookies. This means I am now comfortable with my body and not frequently asking, "Do I look fat?"

2. I want to paint our SuperBeetle an iridescent tie dye and install a singing horn.

3. I buy remote control rats (only when they are 50% off post-Halloween)

4. I fall for his goofy jokes, because I am gullible. (Ex: Ted says to me, you know why they sing that song don't you? I respond, Why? Ted says, So you don't have to! ARGH)

5. He can't remember his own birthday, but when asked I can give all his info, his parents info, his family tree, his SAT scores, etc.



Five things my husband loves me in SPITE of:



1. I am an inch taller than him.

2. I give him cake when he says he is fat.

3. I love to scare him.

4. I sing the Hippo song six months out of the year.

5. Even when I know I am wrong, I will insist I am correct just to irritate him. This causes him to doubt his rightness and waiver in his opinion. HEHEHEHE





The next time you see Ted, give the poor boy a hug!

Heather

Longlasting Friendship

Recently, I completed a crochet project (blanket) for my longtime friend E. I had searched high and low to find an appropriate poem or quote to go with a handmade gift. I could not find one relevant to my need so I wrote a simple poem (posted before, but posted again):

What began as balls of string
Has now become this single thing
Imperfect as I know it may be
May it always remind you a little of me
Every stitch and imperfection
Was made for you with my affection.

When E received the blanket and poem, she tweaked it and promised to send me her revised version that would apply to me as the sender. I received that yesterday and it goes like this:

What began as balls of string
Has become a lovely thing.

(As if I needed this white and blue
To always remind me of you.)

Every stitch with love and care
Made for me, for the love we share.



I am certain her version is the best.

I have been friends with E since I was eighteen. She was a coworker at AT&T (my first REAL job). I haven't worked with her for over ten years. But I think about her every day. She is a true lady and I am blessed to have her in my life.

I would like to tell all of you that are dear to me how much I appreciate you. Friendship (in its truest form) is necessary for all of us. At first glance or impression, we may dismiss potential friends. I am fortunate that E did not dismiss me as a naive teenager or transitional co-worker. She took the time to know me and seemed to believe I was worth knowing. I am fortunate to have a diverse base of friends spanning all ages, many religions, various incomes, and sundry lifestyles.

Having friends who are much like ourselves is a great thing. I wholeheartedly support the practice. I have learned, however, that many of my most important and valuable life lessons have come to me through the diversity of my friends.

Thank you, E! You rock!

Useless knowledge

This post may highlight my deep knowledge of useless information, but I am very often thinking of an episode of Green Acres lately. Remember Green Acres? Eva Gabor, Arnold Ziffle...? No, just me? Oh well.

Anyway, the episode stuck in my head centers around Eva Gabor's character (Lisa) had advertised for Eddie Albert's character (Oliver Wendall Douglas). He was an attorney on the show and at that time it was considered unethical (perhaps even illegal) to advertise for clients. He was quite upset with Lisa. (Background music in my head is the theme song!)

Now, in 2006, I see Danny Cline and Jan Dils commercials and find myself humming their damn jingles in the car. PUH LEASSSSE! I would like to see someone invent a filter to keep that crap out of my head. You see, I suffer from useless knowledge-osis. Go ahead and ask me some obscure question that is so totally not relevant to any topic of current conversation. I will probably know the answer. My mother once asked me to remember the kind of wood that some cabinets she admired were made from. Years later, after she decided against her previous kitchen remodel (and had moved from that house), I can be shopping with her or eating dinner and I will have an unstoppable need to say "The cabinets were PECAN!"

As far as Green Acres goes, even though the final season aired four years before I was born, how can you not watch a show based in HOOTERVILLE?

Heather