Dreams/Nightmares

On a good night, I can dream about good things. Riding a horse in my flowing gowns as my silken hair flows behind in ripples. Even better than having a figure that is fit for flowing gowns, or having my youthful silken hair back, would be the ability to ride the damn horse again. In my dreams, I am able to bound up on the back of a mighty steed and I can run and move lithely. In my dreams, I am freed from the shackles of my crappy body. I like those nights. There is never a real theme or plot to those dreams, just freedom and wind and mobility.

On a dark night, I am likely to dream of my aunt Kay's screams. Those screams will haunt me for the rest of my life. I woke up in paradise to hear those screams ringing out the death of my brother. Those are the worst nights. Sometimes that sweet grey lump in my head likes to mix it up and throw in the emotions and terror that missing children and untimely departures of spouses bring on. I don't look forward to those nights. Why can't we have a menu like those lovely old juke boxes of yesteryear? Just plug in G54 or H72 for a night full of dreaming and smiles?