Perspective

I live in this house of mine everyday. It seems ok. But as soon as I consider entertaining people inside of this house I suddenly start to think of it like this...

I start to remember all that pesky dusting I never do. I start to see the dustballs in the corners and the spit marks on the mirrors. The piles of clothes that have never been put away call out to me. But I have cleaned all I am gonna clean. I am sure this feeling is vital to my house being cleaned EVER, but I am d-o-n-e. When we all gather together to usher in the New Year with friends, I will pretend that it looks clean all the time. And on Jan. 2nd, if you secretly stop by and peer in the windows you can see the reality. SIGH.

Ahhh Children

I thought it would be a nice idea to take my daughter along to pick up my takeout order at a local restaurant. She was already wearing a beautiful rose colored dress up dress (frankly it looks a little bar wenchish, but she is only three). I don't mind it when she wants to wear these things in public because it is always fodder for a laugh. To the dress she added her ruby slippers (gaudy, sparkly, VERY red Mary Jane's). Her winter coat (pink and burgundy) was slipped on over the dress and to that we add her hat. This hat was a gift to me from a friend in Charleston and was immediately confiscated by her majesty, Aurelia. It is a light blue tobogan with multi-colored balls dangling from all over it. She is adorable in a mini-homeless woman sort of way.

So we go in to pick up the food and she immediately says "HI" to the people waiting in front of us. The woman says hello back and tells her how pretty she is. She wallows in this attention and puts on her coy face. She leans her head and pulls up her shoulder and gives a sweet little grin. "Dat lady say I pwetty.", she says to me. I grin and nod. "I A PWINCESS!", she says loudly to the lady. "You sure are, honey", says the unsuspecting woman. "I eat my boogers. Dey all gone out my nose", says my sweet, disgusting child. Polite silence. Mommy hangs her head in shame. Never again. All outings will be made ALONE. :0)

The problem with teen idols....

A sweet Georgia peach of a reader asked me about singer's I thought were in my son's terms Schmexy. I believe that is a blend of smooth and sexy, but I am afraid to ask. You must understand that I am a big fan of oldies and mellow music. Schmexy singers are more sound than look to me, but here is my list of yummy singers for your amusement.

This guy was not bad looking then.....

but now....

it's a little scary

late '80's, early '90's yummy-------- not aging well

Sugar Ray's Mark McGrath---yummy

Jerry Reed and BJ Thomas (not bad in their heyday and if the lights were low, who knows?!)

Hanson (too young, but sweetie cute as older artists)

Jonny Lang---rocks out barefoot and definitely edible.

Will Smith-mm hmm

The good years, but mainly because he reminds me of my dad's younger pictures

Luckily, my father didn't age like this.

That's right I dig the Funkadelic groovemaster.







And no list is complete without the Hoff. (Although, technically, I cannot consider him a singer. But come on, the guy must drink formaldehyde for breakfast. He still looks good.)

High as a kite

My husband painted our downstairs hallway (finally) and the fumes are making me high as a kite.


Taking my oldest son to my parents, my youngest son announced his need to throw up. Never give a carsick-prone child a book in the car.

It's the day after Christmas and that tree is already in the basement.

A trip to the gynecologist the day after Christmas is not a gift.

My children survive on Dora soup, peanut butter, cinnamon bread, and oatmeal.

The commercial with Ryan Seacrest and his breath that's "like a minty fresh snowstorm, in heaven.", makes me roll with laughter.

I switched sides of the bed and there is nothing Ted can do about it.

I love my devil children. Even if they are rotten little stinks.

This may be a bit disturbing

We all know that the holidays can be stressful. Perhaps we are at the end of our already short fuses! While this suggestion may be morbid, it is effective. The next time you find yourself annoyed with your loved ones and cannot stand to be around them for just one more second you should begin to mentally compose their eulogy. Not because you are going to off them--- jeeesh people. But because that little exercise may just remind you how important they are and how much you love them. If that doesn't work, imagine what they may say for you in a similar circumstance. If the only thing you can come up with is "My mommy was a crabass", perhaps it is time to take a moment to oneself.


In this season of traveling and large amounts of family time, I want you all to be safe. Enjoy the moments you can and power through the ones that are a little tougher. And if you find yourself painted into a mental corner, just call me. I will gladly sing any variety of novelty songs to get you back into an appreciative state of mind.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

the hippos holiday peeps

Random

Is it a curse for me or a blessing for him that I have to constantly tell my youngest son to stop sticking his johnson in his waistband?

How long is the winter break?

How many times a day can I be expected to respond sincerely to "You my best friend mommy."

Have you seen the two girls and one cup video? Don't do it. I've only watched the reactions of unsuspecting grandparents and college students, but for the love of all things good, DON'T DO IT!! (this also applies to BME Pain olympics). Even Joe Rogan from Fear Factor was grossed out. HUGE CLUE!!

Our oldest has an interview Saturday!! Yippee.

Is it ok to consider a 9x13 cake eight pieces (translates to four servings for Moo-wah)?

Will 2008 see a return of fashionable spandex options for us larger ladies?

My New Year's Resolution---- I won't worry, I'll be happy!

Drug Testing

Our local school board is considering testing the student population randomly. I think that is a great idea. Silly that they can't randomly test the teachers, but a good idea nonetheless. But they are behind the curve here at Mommy land.

Cory has had to submit to tests like these:

since the beginning of his high school career.

As a matter of fact, I just reordered. The website for those who are interested.

I believe I will start testing the entire under 18 population after the New Year. They have been VERY moody lately.

day off - ferris buller - twist and shout

Hey baby, what's shakin? C'mon you know you wanna dance. I see your foot tapping. That's right, get up, loosen up, shake your grooooove thang!!!!

Remedies

So yesterday didn't start out so well. It was a cruddy winter day and we were all pretty crabby. But later in the day, Ted decided to take Aurelia out to pick up shell casings at the gun range (um, a lot disturbing, but they were spending daddy-daughter time). I decided to take Daniel to see the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. Not too shabby. He really enjoyed it. The credits rolled to the new verison of their 'Witch Doctor" song. Daniel, normally reserved, took full advantage of the lights still being out and danced all the way out the door. Playfully, I asked him if he was still dancing, and his response was to break out every move he had. Including the swinging arm robot. His sweet little face shining with silliness the whole time.

Since all I had moneywise was a $20 and the parking was a dollar, we strolled to the Coldstone to break my huge bill. Red and green M&M's in French Vanilla for the boy and straight chocolate for mammy. I told him his looked like Christmas boogers. Oh fun times. As we finished up he held up two fingers and said " The movie was double good, but ice cream with you was (flashing me three fingers and a high eyebrow wink) triple FUN!"


:0)

ok, yeah, whatever

I feel like this dog looks today. Winter is the pits. I need to clean this house for our upcoming party, but I really can't move toward it. The princess of the house has a little conjunctivitis. I need to go to the store and I don't know what to buy. If I were a little younger and somebody was in charge of it, I would yell that I was bored. But I'm in charge, I've found the end of the internet, there are books that need read, calls that need made, and children that need tending.

AND IT IS GOING TO SNOW..... BLECH.

Mama said there'd be days like this

What can I say? GW is set to veto the child health insurance bill. What a dumbass. I absolutely want to hibernate until this dorkfish is finally booted out of office. But I don't have political discussions, so I will just say again. D-U-M-B-A-S-S!!

Ike Turner is dead. To be honest, I kinda thought he was already dead.

Jessica Alba is pregnant. Now there is a short list of famous female hotties that could make me consider a switch to the other team. But pregnancy and motherhood distract from mind numbing attractiveness. That also happens when she speaks though.

And the final blow- Aurelia told me my breath smelled like Daddy's butt. Ahh, brutal honesty. Time to grab the mouthwash.

Christmas tree, O Christmas tree

I am in the Christmas mood. This is evidenced by the presence of our Christmas tree, front and center, in our living room. Normally, I wait until about a week before Christmas to put it up and take it down before the last of the wrapping paper hits the garbage can Christmas Day. This is a full TWO weeks before D Day.

Our tradition is everyone gets their own ornament every year. This helps with lovely memories, but also because we tend to break things. Our tree is a fake, pre-lit deal with white lights. Teddy-o decided to put a few strings of colored lights. Not too shabby. The kids put their ornaments on and I fill in the gaps (move stuff around and such). I would love to say this all comes off without a hitch, but there is almost always the sound of "GET OFF THE TREEEEE, BACK UP, DON"T LICK THE OUTLETS, LET GO OF THE CAT!!!!!!!!!!". Overall it was still a nice little evening event. And when I wander downstairs, after the kids are asleep, I will lay on the couch, bloated from too much ham and pumpkin pie, and watch our Made In China tree with its lead paint covered ornaments and gaudy array of lights twirl (because did I mention our tree twirls??).

Merry Christmas all.

remembering Colby

Colby Shane Jackson
Colby Shane “Dawg” Jackson, 33, of Hico, entered into eternal life on Sunday, Dec. 2, 2007, in Yampa, Colo.
Colby was the beloved and cherished husband of Tara Leigh Isaacs Jackson and the loving and adoring father of Cyrus, Brody, Ryleigh and Kyleigh Jackson.
Born Dec. 28, 1973, at Ronceverte, he was the son of Steven W. Jackson of Greensboro, N.C., and Karlen Anderson Adkins and Wilbert “Tony” Adkins of Mount Nebo.
Welcoming Colby to his heavenly home are grandparents, Herbert “Oley” Anderson (1999), Betty Jean Holiday Anderson (2007) and Carl Lee Jackson (1981.)
Colby was a 1992 graduate of Midland Trial High School where he was an outstanding linebacker and halfback for the Patriot football team. After high school, Colby attended Concord College where he played football and was a member of Sig Tau Gamma Fraternity.
In 1997, Colby married Tara, his soulmate and love of his life. Together they had four beautiful children, Cyrus Kade (10), Brody Gage (9), Ryleigh Justyce (5) and Kyleigh Aspen (5.) Colby treasured being a father and devoted himself to his children above all else. Whether it was taking a trip to Hershey Park, playing baseball in the yard, or calling for a “Jackson Family Hug.” Colby's true happiness came from the time; he spent with his wife and children. He will forever be alive in their hearts and memories.
Colby was employed as an ironworker/welder with Southern Cross. He took great pride in his work and was well liked and respected by his co-workers. His profession allowed him to travel to many different places throughout the U.S. and Canada, where he was fortunate enough to meet and make friends with many who will miss him deeply. Colby proudly passed the Lloyds of London Welding Test in Maine.
Colby was a die-hard Pittsburgh Steelers and WVU fan. He enjoyed NASCAR racing, hunting, fishing, grilling out for family and friends and riding his Harley on a warm sunny day.
Others left to cherish his memory are brothers, Caleb Jackson and companion, Jennifer who thought of Colby as his hero; brother and best friend, Cory Jackson and mother, Donna; sisters, Brandy and husband, Shannon Lesher of Mount Nebo, Abby and companion, Kenny Sheets, of Mount Nebo, and Leslie Adkins of Charleston; grandmother, Faye Jackson Inman of North Carolina; father and mother-in-law, Pat and Barbara Isaacs of Hico who loved Colby as their own and he will be in their hearts forever; grandmother-in-law, Ruth Sedlock; sisters-in-law, Tammy Isaacs, Staci and husband, Brian Keeney, Stephanie Isaacs and companion, Howard Karns.
Colby was the most awesome uncle to Zhoe Jaden, Zebelon Creed, Silas Bryar Lesher, Jurney Isabella and Maiden Annabella Sheets, Oley Parker and Grady Lee Jackson, Ryan, Christian and Patience Isaacs and Savannah and Michael Keeney. Also left to miss and love Colby is Jesika Cooper, a great little friend. They will all greatly miss him as will his aunts, uncles, cousins and many, many friends. Including special friend with whom Colby worked and traveled, Lee Taylor and fiancée, Nikki Browning.
A service to honor Colby's life will be held 2 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 8, at the Sunday Road Baptist Church with Pastors Alan Donaldson, Gene Bennett and Johnny Critchley officiating. Entombment will follow at the Chapel of Rest Mausoleum, Victor.
The family will receive friends from 6 to 9 p.m. Friday, Dec. 7, at Sunday Road Baptist Church.
Pallbearers will be Caleb Jackson, Lee Taylor, Mark Nuckols, Brian Keeney, Ryan Isaacs, Tommy Stull, James Nickell and Seth Norton.
Please send condolences to wandwansted@hotmail.com. Services provided by Wallace and Wallace Funeral Service, Ansted.

Email Santa and report health nasties

In case anyone would like to do this, it allows your little one to email Santa and get an instant printable email in return. Daniel gets really excited about it every year.

In other news, may I mention that the local Fazoli's on 3rd ave is just gross from the view of the drive thru window. I believe I'll be making a phone call come Monday.

The Humpty Dance

I can only imagine that as annoying as I find todays cartoons, my mother equally hated MTV. It may not surprise you to know that I can rap this entire song with no mistakes. And I did, many, many times as a teenager. i don't think it was really my mothers dream. The song still rocks though.

Gingerbread men on the block