Tooth Fairy Have Mercy

Picture this:
A small town barbershop east of Charleston. A young boy eating a bag of M & M's grins at his mother to show off his chocolate covered teeth. She notices something different about his smile and the conversation goes a little like this:

Mother: Where is your tooth? (He had two that morning on the bottom that wiggled in opposite directions. It was the right tooth that was missing.)

Boy: Huh? (puzzled look)

Mother: Your tooth is gone.

Boy: (with quizzical expression and while searching floor mumbles incoherently to self)

Mother: (used to this sort of response) Were you just holding your tooth?

Boy: Uh Uh.

Mother: Son, you just ate your tooth. You just mistook your tooth for a hard M & M and swallowed it.

Boy: Oh.


Upon their return home, the father in this story finds it amusing to tell the boy he must now search through his excrement to find the tooth. It is the only way the fairy will give him the loot, says the father. So the mother spends the evening keeping both of the little children from peering daringly into the toilet. The boy's younger sister cries when she pees because she believes she is defiling her brothers tooth. The father was threatened with a plastic take out knife and warned that it may take a long and painful amount of time for the mother to dig out his heart and feed it to him. He changed his tune accordingly. All is well. The end.