Halloween

Trick or treating is over. Halloween parties are done. All the candy was given out. Daniel tried out his wily charms on the lay-dees, proclaiming to each and every one "Hey, nice costume." or "I really like your costume." Having laid that line out for one mother dressed as a cat, she asked if he had seen her tail (actual costume accessory). Ted could barely contain the inappropriate jokes. Aurelia was beautiful in her Tinkerbell costume. She refused to wear a jacket (difficult with wings anyway) and was even more offended at the suggestion a shirt would be nice. So every other house or so, I got the "suggestion" that she might need a jacket or sweater or space heater. Frankly, I would like to see them make it happen. :0)

Cory was delegated the candy man. I felt he would do fine with his alotted candy put aside for consumption and dole the rest out to the wee tots. I believe his dinner (a turkey leg straight from the Middle Ages or an ostrich) helped out in that arena. That kid is getting to be so big. Not just physically, but he will be a high school senior next year. Time to start scheduling SAT's, college tours, filling out forms for scholarships, all that jazz. Geez, where does the time go?

Seems like just yesterday I was dressing him up as a pumpkin, a yellow M&M, an alien and the like.

Hope you all had a safe holiday.

Holiday shopping tips from the happy hippo

Many of you know that I am mildly OCD about shopping. The last few holiday seasons, I have really been trying to stress the core importance of our celebrations be focused on our good fortune at having each other and being able to enoy that. But I also like to gift well. As much as my kids would love to get everything they see on TV, but that ain't happening (I know, ain't isnt a word).

My goal this year is to give the little crustaceans gifts that really mean something. Ebay is a very useful tool. One of the best ideas this year has been bulk lots of books. Cory and Daniel love to read. They can read them all, keep their favorites and donate the rest to the library. The best part is I get 400% more stuff for .01% of the cost in a store. WOO HOO.

Thrift stores are good too. Going in with an open mind and a general idea really help. I was looking for dress up clothes and costume jewelry and instead found an old school desk (the one piece deal from the '80s) for under 10$. Since Daniel doesn't have a desk in his room it came home with me. The unpredictable nature of the thrift store inventory may necessitate frequent stops to peruse new items, but you never know when you may find just what you didn't know you were looking for.

Big Lots is also a good source. They also have unpredictable stock, but several finds were found yesterday. They were quality, inexpensive, and NOT PLASTIC CRAP FROM CHINA. If there is anything in this world I do not need more of, it is small piece toys and things that just never get played with.

So prepare yourselves, shoppers. Go out with hearts full of love, minds full of creativity, and you may return with a pocket still full of dough.

Shop well.

Mama

I love this song. I used to go to sleep listening to BJ Thomas, Ray Stevens, The Judds, Red Sovine, and others. It may not be the best music, but I really like it.

Strange

I peruse the internet from time to time looking for cow and hippo related items. I have been on the hunt for a cookie jar, a clock, and original reel to reel recordings of my favorite, Gayla Peavey. But I am not sure what to say to this find:

I"m A cow
except maybe, ewww. (or Mewwww)

Here are some of the others I have found:

A trippy hippy hippo song

Ted's version

Dancing Hippo

Singing Hippo

I'll share more as I find them.

and contributions are welcome.




Singing Hippo

Part Two

The morning after my outing, I was waking Daniel up for school. Groggily, he asked if the tooth fairy had come.

Me: Did you lose your tooth last night?

Daniel: No, I lost it in my cereal this morning.

Me (knowing he was not fully awake): Yesterday. Did you swallow it too?

Daniel: Yup!

That's my boy!

Sweet night of comedy

This past week I was fortunate enough to have gone to a comedy show. Not any comedy show, but the wonderful and funny Kathy Griffin. Since we are not rolling in the dough, my seat was in the last row of the entire building. She appeared to be two inches tall from my view, but funny as all get out. I was able to enjoy a meal out with my high school friend Toby and his wife, Robin. I indulged in TWO strawberry daquiris and wallowed in the company of child free adults. I wore my new purple cow earrings.

I drove home after the show and gratefully went to sleep. With the remnants of the evenings beverage in my veins, I hoped to sleep soundly til the light of day. Alas, not to be. My husband's cell phone decided to think about dying in a loud way at least twice in the night. It rained quite heavily at another point, causing me to think I heard a leak in our upstairs kitchen and wonder if school would be closed due to flooding. But the highlight of my hourly eye openers was my husbands nightmare. I was startled awake by his moaning and uttering of something akin to " hya hya hya hya arrrgh". I reached over to wake him, only to wonder if I might get knocked into next week when he jerked his arm around and snorted. I have since asked him about the nightmare and here are the details:

He dreamt he was in a cabin. Looking around, he noticed there were bears outside. Then he saw me, also outside, through a window. The noises he made were him screaming at me, " Get inside! There are bears out there!"

I laughed so hard my back hurt.

Grade cards need no words

Just click on each to read

Hallelujah!!

I have officially finished scanning my grandmothers pictures. I have some more work to do (taking pictures of large photos that I can't scan, sorting them for the book, using the software to make the book.), but I am finished with the months of scanning. Jenny and many of my many other readers may wonder, what will the great Heather do with her spare time now? Well, you will be pleased to know that I fashioned a set of red Disney Cars curtains last night without so much as a single stitch. This fantastic thermabond junk and I are new best friends. My mini sewing machine had me cursing and throwing things when it would not behave, so I just winged it. And by golly, when I hang those bad boys, I will take a picture and post it here. Just so you can see the insane depths of domesticity I have enveloped myself in. I have two quilts in the works and am wondering where and how I am going the use the large quilt frame this year. Aurelia has a Holly Hobby quilt I desperately want to make and a quilt I started before I was 20 that I would like to finish. Only time will tell.

There may even be books (without pictures) digested by my cobweb infested brain. But I wouldn't believe it until it happens.

One more thing: YIPPPPPEEEEEE!!! I am done!!! Four thousand two hundred and ninety photos scanned (without duplicates)!!!!

I love my husband despite himself

You may have read the previous post and wondered, what does she see in him?

How can she live with a man who convinces his own child that he must look through doo doo to find his tooth?

Well here are some reasons that he is my guy:

1) When reprimanding our oldest, he let the boy know that while he tries to ignore all the usual shit the kids do, when someone is mean to me, then he has to be mean to them. (Awww, how manly and protective and sweet.)

2)When I complain about my fat or lack of social grace, he just reminds me that he isn't any better. (I would really prefer he say "No way, you are smokin'." but I admire the realism)

3)He really does try not to bow to my every whim, and then he does it anyway. A mixture of backbone and submission. Can't beat it.

4) My humor amuses him. Mostly. Except when it is directed at him, which is usually. But even then he still mostly likes it.

5) He knows that I have accepted my domestic limitations regarding cooking, housework, and parenting, and he does not expect more than I am willing/able to give.

So here is your shout out Ted.

But don't let it go to your head! :0)

Tooth Fairy Have Mercy

Picture this:
A small town barbershop east of Charleston. A young boy eating a bag of M & M's grins at his mother to show off his chocolate covered teeth. She notices something different about his smile and the conversation goes a little like this:

Mother: Where is your tooth? (He had two that morning on the bottom that wiggled in opposite directions. It was the right tooth that was missing.)

Boy: Huh? (puzzled look)

Mother: Your tooth is gone.

Boy: (with quizzical expression and while searching floor mumbles incoherently to self)

Mother: (used to this sort of response) Were you just holding your tooth?

Boy: Uh Uh.

Mother: Son, you just ate your tooth. You just mistook your tooth for a hard M & M and swallowed it.

Boy: Oh.


Upon their return home, the father in this story finds it amusing to tell the boy he must now search through his excrement to find the tooth. It is the only way the fairy will give him the loot, says the father. So the mother spends the evening keeping both of the little children from peering daringly into the toilet. The boy's younger sister cries when she pees because she believes she is defiling her brothers tooth. The father was threatened with a plastic take out knife and warned that it may take a long and painful amount of time for the mother to dig out his heart and feed it to him. He changed his tune accordingly. All is well. The end.

my yin and yang

Most people don't get an accurate perception of me on first meeting. My shirts have obnoxious and sometimes humorous sayings like this. I prefer comedy to drama. I like obscure, silly and wildly annoying songs like this. I crochet and quilt and would love to read more. But there is a side of me few people have the misfortune to know. While I prefer light and fluffy things, I have a few hobbies that make normal people cringe. After Daniel was born and a certain mother in Texas drowned her five children, I was drawn to site about infanticide. I read it so much and so long that my husband finally unplugged the computer because I was emotionally wrecked. I shifted my focus to images of the deceased from long ago. It seems it was often the only photo families had (especially of their young children.) So that is how I became an admirer of postmortem photography. I don't get a thrill from the images, instead I have deep respect for the loss (regardless that it was probably a century ago) and curiousity about the lives lived. I even gave a speech in my freshman year at State about postmortem photography. In addition to that, I am driven to work with children. I would love to be able to prevent any horrible thing from happening to any child, but the best alternative I have is the volunteer work I am doing right now. People have expressed that it would just be too depressing to work with these cases. For some that is true, but for me I feel like I am participating in a process that may bring about a change. If people are held accountable and something I did helps that happen, then I can feel good about it. So while I spend my regular days focusing on the lighter side of life, sometimes I pick the scabs off and wallow in some of the darker parts of society. But I promise I am not psycho. Just trying to be balanced. Ying and yang. We all need a little of that... don't ya think?

For new mommies

Neighbor Jenny suggested that I pass along my tip for handling a new baby when you already have a smaller child in your family. When Aurelia was born, I needed a way to keep up with Daniel's requests for snacks (averaging every 10 and a half seconds). So I put all of his favorites in snack size baggies and filled a large decorative bowl on our dining room table. He could easily reach the bowl and open the bags without me having to stop nursing and help him. As any new mom can testify, even the ten seconds it might take to retrieve the snack are valuable time added back to your day. Thank Jenny for my domestic contribution!

B'day

My boy

He turns sixteen tomorrow at 3:44pm. He will be the age I was when he was born and that, frankly, scares the mortal dog snot out of me. I've mentioned to many that his birthday gift should be a case of saltpeter. But I feel good about my boy. When I look at him now, I wonder when the moment was that the last of his little boyness melted away. When was the last story I read to him. The last time I tucked him in? The last time I kissed him goodnight? I will miss those things, but I look forward now into the life that he is building for himself. I feel proud and know that he will be great at whatever he tries, he will love deeply, he will feel for others, he will be a wonderful man because he is already a wonderful man-child.

Cory,

Although I know you don't read this because you are not allowed online, if you ever doubt my love for you, know that it is unconditional and deeper than any measure. I am proud of you.

Love
Mom.

Love BJ Thomas

She was just sixteen
And all alone when I came to be
So we grew up together
Our mama-child and me
Now things were bad and she was scared
But whenever I would cry
She'd calm my fear and dry my tears
With a rock and roll lullaby
And she'd sing
Sha-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
It'll be all right
Sha-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
Just hold on tight
Sing it to me, mama
My, my, my, my, mama
Sing it sweet and clear
Oh mama, let me hear
That old rock and roll lullaby
[Instrumental Interlude]
We made it through the lonely days
But, Lord, the nights were long
And we'd dream of better mornin's
When mama sang a song
Now I can't recall the words at all
It don't make sense to try
'Cause I just knew lotsa love came through
In that rock and roll lullaby
And she'd sing
Sha-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
It'll be all right
Sha-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
Just hold on tight
I can hear ya, mama
My, my, my, my mama
Nothin' moves my soul
Like the sound of the good old
Rock and roll lullaby

What have I done?

I still refer to my years like a schoolkid would. The year begins in September and ends in June and the rest of the months are limbo. So this "year" is very different from last year. I had envisioned all this "extra" time I would have with Aurelia in preschool, but I just keep filling it up with stuff. This evening Mr. Cliff from the alternative school called to see if I would still want to mentor the teens there. What do you think I said? I'll give you two guesses and the first one doesn't count. Now I will spend the two mornings a week with troubled teens, one morning and three afternoons with preschoolers, every day with my kids, and whatever time I can working on my casa cases. In no way am I complaining, but I will be so much busier this year than I had ever imagined. Take no offense if I can't be reached for extended periods. Believe me, I will do my best to stay in touch.