Quotes from sweet babies

In the library today:

Miss Barbara sings: What is your name? My name is..... (laying her hand on little girls head)

Little Girl: FATBOY!

(Mother hides face, holding baby that little girl refers to as FATBOY)


Daniel: Oh, no, you will not put your big fat butt on me! (speaking to me)


During our play date, Miss Eleanor asked her mother: Mommy, can you come in here? Can you waddle around and be a hen?

and Aurelia's new catchphrase, performed with great facial animation and excitement:
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, babee, baaaabeeeeeee(==the last two babies being growled as she inches frighteningly close to my face while rolling her eyes into her head and doing jazz hands!)

Reasons my son cannot use the computer. AT ALL

Lots of people are willing to give you their two cents when it comes to how you are raising your children. I have tried to take most of it with a grain of salt, because how does anyone know how to deal with someone else's childrens quirks. But one rule I have for anyone under 18 in this house seems to garner much more spirited comments than the others (usually from my mother.) I don't allow my children on the computer. At all. I used to, but my oldest proved early on that he simply was not able to control the urge to see what was so great about forbidden content. Now, I don't operate under a constant fear that someone is plotting to steal or abuse my children, but I know that there is a chance it could happen. I know that no matter how much I tell them to be careful there are those out in the world that can convince them to do the exact opposite of what I have asked.

My oldest son is a strapping young lad. I can only give him a hug or get a kiss from him if he wants me to. I don't fear that someone will be able to overpower him. It just isn't likely. But they could outwit him. They could entice him.

So after watching the latest To Catch a Predator show from Dateline NBC, I will say again: My kids are not allowed on the computer. I know where the library is when assignments require encyclopedias and research. And should they be required to use the internet for some reason beyond my control, you had better bet your sweet patootie that I will be right over their shoulder and checking their cookies.

I mean for the love of Pete, you can buy these:

http://www.truck-nuts.com/index.html

What has the world come to?

Frankly

I have to be quite frank. Lately, I have been annoying myself. There has been an overuse of the word frankly in my vocabulary. I find my self saying things like:

Frankly, my dear Aurelia, I don't give a damn.
or
Daniel, I frankly cannot listen to another joke.
or
Cory I refuse to pick up your dirty underwear without a hazmat suit and a stick. Frankly.

Also, there has been an increase in Heather's need to reference herself in the third person.
When unable to make intelligible conversation, Heather points out that she is falling off of a mental cliff for lack of consistent sleep.

Frankly, Heather would like to know what you suggest she do about this problem!

A Better World

Last night I began training for a program called CASA. For those unfamiliar with it, CASA stands for court appointed special advocate. Volunteers are trained and appointed by a judge to represent the best interests of the child(ren) in abuse and neglect cases.

One of the most daunting statistics we learned last night is the sheer number of cases. There are too many cases in too many counties to give each one a volunteer. They just do not have enough to go around. While the children will have counsel to represent their interests, the system is overloaded. Social workers have 30-80 cases each. In a given month, they may be able to spend only two hours on a single case. They need the assistance to help find the best solutions for children that may otherwise slip through the cracks.

My social work studies are what brought me to know about this program. I know none of us really has "spare" time. But if you think you would like to make a difference I am going to link CASA's website on my sidebar.

My children drive me nuts, but at the end of the day I want them to know they are loved. I don't ever foresee my own children will experience anything close to the experiences of the children I will meet. But I would like to think that if they were in those circumstances there would be someone looking out for them.

Night all.
Heather

Oh that crazy uterus

I went to the doctor today. We agreed that many of my aches and pains may not improve until my sweet little monkey daughter gets older and tires of my constant presence. But we did discuss this pain that seems to come monthly and is enough to lift me out of my seat. Endimetriosis and fibroids are the suspected culprits. He suggested I talk to an OB/GYN about my options which spell out to this:

A) Take birth control pills that will cease the periods from coming.

Problem: My hair falls out on the pill last took and my husband would likely divorce me. I have been described as less than gentle and loving with those things in my system.

B) I could become pregnant.

Problem(s): Temporary solution with a long term result. I was just the other day saying if by some crazy way I had become pregnant, THEY (we do not know who they are) could not MAKE me keep it. I would just give it to Jenny. I clearly made the right decision when Ted got clipped.

C) I could have a hysterectomy.

Problem: Um, it's surgery. It's permanent (although the above solution was not a keeper either.) And my grandmother has had to have her innards jacked up and stitched THREE times since her hysterectomy. I dunno.

D) I could grin and bear it. (This option looks better and better.)


So I will go talk to this doctor and have this ultrasound and see what sounds the most reasonable. But I will feel better for the rest of the day knowing I apparently am better off in the health department than 90% of the people in the waiting room.

High School Meme

Fill this out about your YEARS of high school! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be.
Who was your best friend?
There wasn't a best friend. I had a collection of friends that seemed like a single unit. Ah, the illusions of youth.

What kind of car did you drive?
I actually didn't try to get my license until I was 18.

It’s Friday night. Where were you?
Gail's, babysitting, or at home.

Were you a party animal?
Not by your standard party animal definition.


Were you considered a flirt?
My unfortunate nickname was "ho". :0(

Ever skip school?
Yes.

Were you a nerd?
By whose definition? I was certainly nerdy, but there were nerdier than I.

Did you get suspended/expelled?No.

Can you sing the fight song?
I can hum it.

Who was your favorite teacher?
Mr. Humphrey's

Favorite class?Mr. Humphrey's Algebra class


What was your school’s full name?
Herber Hoover High
School mascot?A pillager of sorts

Did you go to Prom?
Oh yes. And the dancing was grand.

If you could go back and do it over, would you?
No. I like who I am and where I have been. Even when it was wrong, rough, or painful, it's my life and you can't have it.

What do you remember most about graduation?
All the students stood and prayed because it had been forbidden by someone somewhere.

Who was your high school sweetheart?
Larry Eugene White, Jr.

Where were you on senior skip day?Sigh. In class.

Did you have a job your Senior year?
No.

Where did you go most often for lunch?The cafeteria. It was a closed campus.

Have you gained weight since then?
I weighed around 100lbs. then. I have had three children. There was no avoiding it.

What did you do after graduation?
Went to a hotel with my boyfriend/high school sweetheart. Sleeping was the only thing on the agenda though. Really. I swear.

When did you graduate?1993

Who was your Senior prom date?
Larry Eugene White, Jr.


Are you going to your 10yr class reunion?
I didn't go to any of the keggers described as reunion. I don't foresee that I will feel the need before I die either.

Who was your home room teacher?
Sweet Lord, I don't rememeber. EEEK

Who will repost this after you?
Dunno.

Crazy Kids

We had a snow day yesterday. Ted proclaimed it to be ridiculous (for our children yes, not so much for outlying schools). It gave me the chance to take some pictures and wonder at my children.

The style of the baby is to die for! She picked up her six year old brothers

silky green basketball shorts and put them on. They touch her ankles when she stands up. She added a lovely sweater and her new Alaskan looking houseboots to the mix. My daughter has apparently been watching episodes of Punky Brewster when I am not around!

Her thoughts on this --------->

Daniel has a very loose tooth. The new tooth is coming in behind it and pushing it forward. SO it just hangs there. He can shut his jaw and that tooth sits in front of the upper ones. It is very amusing! I believe we will have a visit from a certain dental fairy this week.

I have been watching the weather. I think tomorrow is safe for them to return to school. Yippee!

I hope those with the flu feel better soon and I really hope those without the flu don't get it. But either way keep those funky germs to yourself!! LOL

Night all

Heather

Angels Aplenty

These are my sweet little devils. The finished product after the picture date from hell. Believe it or not, this is the first and BEST picture the poor lady was able to capture before sliding off the table and nose picking commenced. Enjoy. It will be a full cycle round the sun before we attempt this again.

Mothering 101

To those of you unfamiliar with my parenting style, lets just call it unconventional. I believe in doing whatever seems like it will work in the moment. It may not be consistent long term, but it keeps the little trolls on their toes.

The oldest was reported absent to us by the automated system in his school. He claimed to have been ill during English. After an email exchange with said teacher it was discovered that he spent 18 minutes in the nurses office. Her class is 41 minutes long. HMMM.

She also shared that his grade for this six weeks is a startling 62%. Six missing assignments, no signed midterms (for points).

So I waited. He came home and was prepared for the standard disappointed look and lecture. But I made him sit on the floor and forbade him to use any term that was similar to "I don't know." He was going to be active in the conversation whether he liked it or not.

I laid out for him how his poor choices had kept him from some pretty cool stuff. I also added that if he thought for a single second that I was out of ideas to worsen his creature comfort level he was sadly mistaken. I would get him a weekly crew cut. I would throw out all his long socks and force him to wear the ultra low cut sports socks. I would give away all his marginally cool clothes and dress him in pink corduroy (he hates corduroy more than pink) and salmon shirts. There would only be secondhand shoes. Eating fast food would no longer be availabe to him (even if the family was having pizza).

On the flip side, I tried to highlight the many good things that could be accomplished by his smallest of efforts. He would be allowed out into the sun, to have friends over, to go to friends houses, attend functions, have a job, a learner's permit, dates. ETC ETC.

So the moral he should walk away with is this:\

Mommy loves you. Mommy wants good things for you. Mommy will help you anytime. But Mommy is not afraid to make the world she brought you into a place destitute of fun. Don't tempt Mommy. Mommy knows all.

Very humble don't you agree.:0)

Night all
Heather

Fire Prevention

There have been a number of fires in the past few months near our city. I would like to ask each of you that read my blog to take a couple of minutes to check the batteries in your smoke detectors, make sure you have enough of them, know where your fire extinguishers are in your home (and how to use them). I would also like you to think of escape routes and any difficulties you might encounter. I have small children and we will be purchasing some of the ladders that can be rolled up and stored (hopefully never to be used.)

Anyway, just as a favor to dear old me, take a few minutes out of your busy day to check you house out. I would also suggest that those with little ones try to get some of the decals from the fire departments that alert them which rooms the children are in. They just stick to the window. Easy breezy!

Thanks
heather

I dunno

I haven't the energy to give you my own thoughts, except to quote them from others.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference."

Dear Lord, It's such a hectic day,
With little time to stop and pray,
For Life's been anything but calm,
Since You called me to be a Mom,
Running errands, matching socks,
Building dreams with matching blocks,
Cooking, cleaning, finding shoes,
And other stuff that children lose,
Fitting lids on bottled bugs,
Wiping tears and giving hugs,
A stack of last week's mail to read,
So where's the quiet time I need?
Yet, when I steal a moment, Lord,
Just at the sink or ironing board,
To ask the blessings of Your grace,
I see them, in my small one's face,
That you have blessed me
All the while --
And I stoop to kiss
That precious smile.
~~ Author Unknown ~~


When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard.
My kids see flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on.
When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person who probably wants money and I look away.
My kids see someone smiling at them and they smile back.
When I hear music I love, I know I can't carry a tune and don't have much rhythm so I sit self consciously and listen.
My kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words. If they don't know them, they make up their own.
When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself against it. I feel it messing up my hair and pulling me back when I walk.
My kids close their eyes, spread their arms and fly with it until they fall to the ground laughing.
When I pray I say Thee and Thou and grant me this, give me that.
My kids say, "Hi God!!! Thanks for my toys and my friends. Please keep the bad dreams away tonight. Sorry, I don't want to go to Heaven yet. I would miss my Mommy and Daddy."
When I see a mud puddle, I step around it. I see muddy shoes and clothes and dirty carpets.
My kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross and worms to play with.
I wonder if we are given kids to teach or to learn from?
~~ Author Unknown ~~


The house is untidy from window to door, Marks on the walls and food on the floor.
The washing's unwashed and the dishes are too, There's scum in the bathroom And fat on the stew.
There are toys in the passage And under our feet; The garden's a jungle When seen from the street.
So what have I done, thenTo earn my repose? To just look around me You'd say no-one knows!
I've held a small hand As her first steps she took.
I've made animal noises As we read a book.
I've built a mud pie And admired a snail.
I've rescued the cat From a grip on her tail.
I've wiped away tears, And I've listened to tales.
I've used mediation To get smiles from wails.
So I guess what I've done Isn't easy to see -
It won't clean the house And it won't cook the tea.
But if I have helped make a child feel good, know that she's loved and that she's understood, then I know that my work, though not easy to see, is just as important as any could be.
~~ Author Unknown ~~

Come in, but don't expect to find All dishes done, all floors ashine.
Observe the crumgs and toys galore. The smudgy prints upon the door.
The little ones we shelter here Don't thrive on a spotless atmosphere.
They're more inclined to disarray And carefree even messy play.
Their needs are great, their patience small. All day I'm at their beck and call.
It's Mommy come! Mommy see! Wiggly worms and red scraped knees.
Painted pictures, blocks piled high. My floors unshined, the days go by.
Some future day they'll flee this nest, And I at last will have a rest!
Now you tell me which matters more, A happy child or a polished floor?
~~ Author Unknown ~~


Love is scaring away monsters in the middle of the night, then again at 1:00 a.m., 2:00 a.m., 3:00 a.m.
Love is putting peanut butter on anything as long as they'll eat it!
Love is knowing how to disguise vegetables 30 different ways.
Love is reading the same bedtime story for the 999th time.
Love is a hug around the knees.
Love is watching Mr. Rogers instead of All My Children.
Love is cutting off the crusts.
Love is a refrigerator covered with creative works of art.
Love is not grimacing through the dirtiest of diapers.
Love is trading in the Camero for a station wagon.
Love is the magic kiss that heals all owies.
Love is a cuddly kid in a blanket sleeper.
Love is the first kick, first smile, first laugh, first step, first anything.
Love is your child pointing to a picture of Christie Brinkley and saying "mama".
Love is your child sound asleep, any child sound asleep.
Love is a macaroni necklace.
Love is wearing the macaroni necklace to church with pride.
Love is a peanut butter kiss, a syrup kiss, a chocolate kiss, any kind of kiss.
Love is when Bert & Ernie replace Robert Redford & Tom Selleck as your most admired men.
Love is not worrying about those few extra pounds cuz they make you more cuddly.
Love is knowing how to get out amoxicillin stains.
Love is a bouquet of dandelions.
Love is the smell of a baby's neck.
Love is saying no at the right times when it is easier to say yes.
Love is saying yes at the right times when it's easier to say no.
~~ Author Unknown

and my personal favorite today

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray that my sanity to keep;
For if some peace I do not find, I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.
I pray I find a little quiet Far from the daily family riot;
May I lie back ... not have to think About what they're stuffing down the sink,
Or who they're with, or where they're at, And what they're doing to the cat.
I pray for time all to myself (Did something just fall off a shelf?)
To cuddle in my nice, soft bed (Oh no! Another goldfish ... dead!)
Some silent moments for goodness sake (Did I just hear a window break?)
And that I need not cook or clean ... (Well heck! I've got the right to dream!)
Yes, now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my wits about me keep;
But as I look around I know ... I must have lost them long ago!
~~ Author Unknown ~~

Stranger Danger

I will not beat the dead horse that is my daughters refusal to sleep. I will not speak of it again until I have fixed the problem.

In happier news, the boys that were found in MO made me very happy. Although they may have endured vile things at the hands of this man, they are now home with the families that loved and prayed for them every day they were gone. My mind keeps going back to the kid whose life was made into that movie "I know my first name is Stephen". His life ended tragically because of so much sadness, but he was a hero to the little boy that was taken when they decided to escape. His brother ended up killing women in the park where he worked. I hope these families are able to help the boys and shield them from prying eyes and insensitive media. None of us need to know what happened to them. They need to be allowed to deal with it and put it behind them.

I will certainly be updating my kids ID cards, fingerprints, photos and all my instructions on NEVER going with strangers and how to defend themselves.

Night all
Heather

To the victor go the spoils

This past week I have engaged in a full out war to get my sweet darling little girl to sleep by herself. I have cajoled, begged, bribed, threatened, ignored, and given serious thought to drugging her. I have purchased the inflatable sleeping bag bed because I felt like a horrible mother letting her sleep on the floor where she passed out. But the truth is, I concede victory to a 40 pound terrorist who just happens to live across the hall.

I will lie down with her. I will sleep in her bed. She can smell my hair. I will hang off the edge of a dangerously short twin bed (for a six foot plus mommy). If doing all of this means that I will in exchange be able to close my eyes, not hear her screaming, and even (dare I say it?) sleep for a precious few hours, then consider it done.

I am hoping that in the days, months, years to come her speech will develop and I will be more able to reason with her. Logic will become my friend. I will even welcome the day when I fall out of her favor for a friend or beloved toy. But I say that now, when I am sleep deprived and cranky.

Years from now, in the retirement home, I will reminisce about the sweet smell of her baby breath, her need to be close to her mommy, and how pretty they were when they were unconscious. All I can hope for is that I will get regular calls from the children I have given up my sanity for. That's all I'm askin kids, just call your mama.
Just don't call me when I am snoozin! :o)

Night all
Heather P.

Twinken has been recovered!!

So we have recovered Twinken, but the baby won't sleep. She refuses to sleep on her bed and will only pass out on the floor after a great deal of screaming and fit throwing. Last night was a doozy. Today, we bought an inflatable sleeping bag from Target. I am beginning to feel like we live in a hut. Tomorrow should answer the question " Will the inflatable slumber bag be the answer to all Heather's prayers?"

Meanwhile, Cory/Adam has produced an authentic looking document that claims he has a 96% in his 9th grade history class. I am hoping that if it is indeed true, perhaps he will have been able to pull the proverbial rabbit out of his hat with the other classes. I will find out in about two weeks.

I also want to invite anyone who is interested in viewing fainting goats to help me search out the closest farm location and come along for a field trip. Those myotopic goats, gotta love 'em.
http://www.compfused.com/directlink/765/

Heather

Thank God for friends

So Buck frickin Rogers can't get his fat ass in the spaceship, but apparently Stephen Hawking is going to take his non-verbal heiny into the outer reaches of space by the year 2009. Feeling just a little upside down today.

My daughter decided to take a chance and change her sleeping schedule when I went out of town a few weeks ago. This has led to the rail being taken off of her bed (because she flings herself out of the bed and looks like an abused child). She also has convinced me (sans words) to lie down with her the first, second, third, etc., etc. times she needs to go to sleep. I am sleep deprived. Last night was rough. I was in her room from 8 til 10:15 the first time. Then at midnight she dragged me to her room and I was captive in her very short, narrow twin bed until after six this morning.

My friend, Melanie, took pity on me and offered to watch her this morning. It gave me just enough time to hatch a plan. This evening, I followed the normal routine all the way up to the part where I am expected to give her my hair and wait for the shallow breathing. NOPE. Not tonight. I rocked her and then tried to place her ever so gently in the bed. SURE! That happened. She leapt from the bed with a banshee scream and spent the next hour and a half trying to figure out how to get on my lap ( I was in the rocker). She eventually sat in her little wicker chair at the end of the bed and quasi passed out. I put a blanket on the floor with her toddler pillow (she refused the bed at every turn) and that is where she is now. ON THE FLOOR. I am going to need a lot of sleep next week, cause this week is not looking so great.

Night all
Heather

Aaargh

I am currently watching a Discovery Health Channel special on extreme ways people have lost lots of weight. Then to my ultimate surprise they show BUCK frickin ROGERS. He is over 350 pounds and in medical danger. There will apparently be special devoted to his struggle. Did I mention it was THE Buck Rogers?!! Dear God(sigh).

My son has recovered his Twinken. It was on our front porch in the basket of my swing. Yippee. No more hangdog looks and sly remarks about how sad he is.

Our oldest son is pissed that I will not buy him a backpack. Now, his logic seems to be that I promised him a backpack if his grades were good and it should count that his first six weeks grade card was great. We should simply ignore the facts that he is now in the proverbial grade toilet and also uses any bag as a collection spot for lost homework and trash.

So this evening I am running away. My friend and I are going to the Funny Bone. I plan to give no thought to my children in the hours that I am away. Maybe when I come back, I will feel less like throwing them all in the garbage. EGAD

Heather

Granma's having triplets

Over the weekend, my 13 year old cousin came to stay with us. While he was here there was a news story on CNN about a 67 year old woman having twins. I mentioned that was just a mere eleven years younger than our grandmother. My cousin wrinkled his face in disgust at the thought of such nonsense, but my younger sons interest was peaked. He asked which granma. I said Grandma Frances. Feeling a little like pulling his chain, I said she was going to have triplets, not just twins. He didn't seem to ask much more and went about his business.

Later, my husband was on the couch after the kids had gone to bed (about two days later). He said, "Your son believes your grandmother is going to have triplets. He told me she was going to have three babies on the same day, they would all look the same, and be brothers like him and Cory." Trying not to pee myself, I asked what his response was. He had firmly said Granma Frances was not having ANY babies, but Daniel said, "Yes she is. She married Granpa Fletcher."There will be no convincing this child. He firmly believes that once one gets married the babies will be forthcoming.

Now this should have clued me in to the fact that my delivery of the sarcasm is just a little too believable. Alas, after our New Year's brunch, I called up my friend to mess with her a bit. When she answered the phone I tried my best to be serious and said," Melanie, I am going to ask you a question, and I want you to be nothing but honest and forthcoming (BIG CLUE, I DON'T NORMALLY USE FORTHCOMING IN CONVERSATION) with your answer. While you were here earlier, did you steal my......... ( at this point she ceased hearing what I was saying, trying to think what she may have stolen LOL) my MOJO." She spent a few uncomfortable seconds absorbing what I had said. I really must work on my sense of humor. But seriously, I can't find my MOJO anywhere. Let me know if you find it. :0)