Letting Go

Recently, I have been concerned about my children and how suitable they are for public consumption. I am letting go of that. I don't care what the public at large thinks of my children, if they are happy, well, and not hurting anyone. So whether I feel like they are getting the hairy eyeball because I am paranoid and have low self esteem or because they really are, it no longer makes one iota of a difference to me!

I want to make decisions for my oldest to help him. I want to guide him to the best life he could have in the pursuit he deems most appealing. I want to shake him until he realizes that things that are worth having never come easily. But instead, I am going to swallow the tremendously large lump in my throat and sit back to wait for his decisions. I will earnestly try to refrain from a constant stream of my advice unless he has asked for it. (TRY, TRY, TRY). But I must let him go. He must make his decisions and mistakes and reap benefits and repercussions all by himself. SO much harder than leaving them at kindergarten, watching them walk unassisted, discover the world outside of your arms... SO much harder.

I've been searching for ways to help my little one out of her perpetual baby phase. At five years old, she wants me to help her eat her soup and oatmeal. She speaks through a small hole in the top of her head that makes her voice high and squeaky. I want her to grow up.... until I turn on the tv and see that people take children and throw them in the garbage. Then I remember, she is MY baby. I'll make her feed herself, but I'm not going to hurry her along anymore.

Hug your babies, no matter how old or young. The days fly by, even when they seem to be dragging, and that old saying "the best is yet to come" is wrong. The Best is already here and we'll miss it if we don't take the time to look.

Musings

Recently, Aurelia has become enchanted with Dancing with the Stars. She asks me to put it on and "dance her". This entails my holding her by the hand and allowing her to flop around, twirl herself, dip herself into a near concussion (by bouncing her head off the floor and causing me to lose my balance and fall on her). She conned her daddy into a bout of this "dancing" over the weekend! TOO FUNNY... When he was tuckered out she switched gears and danced on the doorjams until the music stopped...

After coming home from school today, that little bean pole ate a cosmic brownie (otherwise known as the tasty lard rectangle), three bananas, an entire can of chicken noodle soup, a Hershey Bar, several glasses of juice, and was still claiming to be hungry at bedtime... We need to locate the tapeworm!

Such is my underprivileged life, that I enjoyed a massage today and have my bed pre-heating under the temperature controlled electric blanket. Not to mention the little gadget that Ted has on the Jeep that started and warmed it before I had to go out with the kids... I am being robbed of my right to complain to my kids about how hard I have it by the abundance of readily available luxuries at hand!! ARG (oh poor pitiful me)!

I had actual conversations with my oldest son today... and enjoyed it. I am happy to have gotten to the point that our exchanges are not always barks or disagreements. He is an adult on the path to a responsible and happy life and it makes me happy to see him doing things and enjoying himself. Now, if he would just stop saying his eyes were green when they are so clearly blue... life would be perfect.

Aurelia has also adopted her cat mode. She crawls around on all fours and meows like a cat. She nuzzles faces with the cat, climbs on the coffee table like a cat, etc etc etc like a cat. She asked me to get her a flea collar.... I am frightened...

Baby boy has hit the big 18!

Wrap it up

My husband's only job in the morning is to make sure there is 35 cents for the girl to buy her milk. A week or so ago, he presented her with a baggie full of pennies.....

This is why I am on the Christmas shopping kick right now. I have high tech boys who love high tech things and those things cost the buckaroos. My daughter is easily pleased with shiny pink things and that is fortunate for me.

Right now I am on the hunt for Ebay treasures and things that will surprise them and make them happy at the same time.

If my husband reads this, and I know he will not because he is too busy playing Mafia Wars, I know what I want for Christmas. But it requires time, patience, knowledge of my likes.... but it is inexpensive... That is your first and possibly only clue.

Family of the extended variety will be discovering that I am a shopping GODDESS when the tinsel is finally on the tree... Oh yes... a GODDESS... I hope.

Hustle and Bustle

Wow... Summer ends and the year just steamrolls toward December. Everywhere I look there are decorations for holidays that are are two or three holidays down the line... Geesh... The kids started school and seem to be getting along well. Daniel gets frustrated that his sister will not allow him to mother her like he wants to. But he has been with her long enough to know that she will knock the socks off him when tries... that girls is tough as nails... Cory turns eighteen soon... Man that is blowing my mind... I started as the CASA volunteer recruiter this month. In case there is any doubt, I LOVE IT. Maybe one day, there won't be any abused and neglected kids, but until then...sigh...

My grandma had her birthday yesterday. Things seem to have worked out so that I can go to the beach with her this year. I can take or leave the beach, but getting some one on one time with my grandma is something that I cannot pass up. She is a spunky lady and I love her.

Beside me the clock is ticking down the minutes until I head home. Aside from a little trip around town to pass out some brochures and things sometime this weekend, I am considering shutting down my phone, ignoring my emails, and giving my kids the one on one time they deserve.. Rotten though they are! :0)So if you don't reach me this weekend, take no offense... I am vegging out!!

My quiet corner of the earth

When we moved three summers ago, I couldn't help but be nervous about living in a new place. What if there wasn't anyone I connected with? But I quickly realized that I didn't need to worry about such things. Over the past three years, I have been fortunate enough to know the majority of my closest neighbors on a first name basis... something I didn't even have where I had grown up my whole life.

As I walked out the door yesterday evening, hand in hand with my daughter, a cool breeze washed over us. We could hear children playing in their backyards...we waved at neighbors lounging on their porches... we strolled along our bumpy sidewalks talking about our day and the week to come. After we returned, we picked the ripe raspberries from our meager front garden and I carried the harvest to Neighbor Jenny.

We are so fortunate to live in a place where we feel at home, know our neighbors, look out for one another and have a sense of community. I can't imagine a better thing.

NOT shy

During yesterday's orientation, there was a space on one of the MANY forms to relay information you might think the teachers would like to know about your child. I wrote, "She has older brothers, and is NOT (underlined four times) shy." I think if I was her teacher I would want to know!... LOL

This morning Neighbor Jenny relayed that while the children were being asked if they would be "trays" or lunchbox kids at lunch, there was a child that responded in a hushed tone. The teacher said, "Now children, you will need to speak up so I can hear you." The next to answer was Aurelia, who very loudly and very clearly, responded, "LUNCHBOX>>>>>>". Fortunately, this highlights her ability to follow directions!! Thanks for that story!

Hippo Happenings

This week has flown by as Cory started Marshall, Aurelia turned 5, Daniel had his first day of school.... Things are just racing ahead of me and I am trying to keep up! :0)... Fortunately, Cory only had to endure two days of campus life on his crutches. His cast was removed on Wednesday morning and he will wear a walking boot for another three weeks. I think he was most relieved to be able to scratch and wash that forlorn foot! Aurelia had orientation on the first day of school and made sure everyone looked at her new shoes, that light up, you really cannot miss them. It was also her birthday, so she told everyone we saw that day, the police officers guarding against speeders in the school zone, the crossing guard, the teacher, me (although I did remember without the help...)... On our way out of the orientation, we ran into Daniel and my first day fears were soothed when he announced, "Ms. Perry is AWESOME!". My boy had a great day and was anxious to get back to school and try to get a pass (one of the many incentives she has available) by having his name drawn out of her bowl... Thank goodness for good teachers! We had an impromptu neighborhood cake party and Aurelia now has to wait another 364 days to be the birthday girl!

Verbal diarrhea

I was out in the woods of Wayne County (not really the woods, but close enough) last week with a friend and we got a little turned around. Basically, I said "Sure I can get us where we are going, trust me!!" Previously, I would have said that those words from me could be relied upon to deliver, but today I would say that is something you should question... My over certainty and absence from my GPS having Prius took us on a "scenic" tour of the county. Being misplaced and having extra time to gab apparently opened up my internal databanks, because poor Sandy now knows more about me than 98% of the general public. Granted, our exchange was mutual in places, but I haven't had that sort of verbal diarrhea in quite some time. I like to lurk in the background with a Cheshire cat grin and observe people (the observation is intentional, the grin is not). On an average day, I'm not what one would call a sharer. Now that there is one more person in the world with intimate knowledge of my life, I may have to relocate!

Time just dashed on by

My baby has her first day of kindergarten in a few short days. We'll get her picture taken, walk her to school, meet her teacher... all the normal things... but I think the thing that will really get my emotions rolling is that our big boy will start college that same week. If he holds still long enough, I might snap a picture of him on his "first day of school" too. Then I will scan in all his first day pictures... and it will hit me in a more complete way that this portion of his life has passed... that we are finished with this section of involvement... morphing will occur in our exchanges... he will venture off to parts unknown in so many ways... I wish him all the best in the new things that he will experience and discover... Now where the heck did I put those tissues...?

We are in the home stretch

Recently, our oldest broke his ankle in an attempt to obtain a Taco Bell Volcano Box in the wee hours of the morn. We have had some ups and downs with that injury, including his going off to camp, walking on the non weight bearing cast, and not healing at all. But also we should not leave out that he was exposed to the swine flu while he was there. Thankfully he did not come home with that particular virus, but he did come home ill. After our trip to DC, our neighbor's pre schooler went ill and it has been dominoes throughout since then. In the last couple of nights our daughter has been up with alternate expulsions beyond her control. Gratefully, those things seem to be winding down. Cory has a new cast (albeit he does have a head the size of a basketball that ate two baseballs from the wisdom teeth coming out), and Aurelia is convalescing. School draws near and some prospective changes in my life have me more than a little giddy. All in all, life is good and I am glad to be here.

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Lost in Translation

I do my best thinking in the shower... Sometimes I have whole conversations with people in my mind there. Some are recreated conversations that have already happened and I have just figured out what responses would have been better, so I need to imagine the whole thing again. Some are conversations yet to happen, that need hashed out and fine tuned in the old grey matter before I try to put it out into the atmosphere in that same general way. Never works. No matter how many times I have tried, or how articulate I believe I can be on certain issues, the ones that matter the most always seem to get lost or mixed up or misunderstood. So in my dreams and in the shower, I have the right ones, I say the right things, I get all the words saturated in the meanings I want and I lob them right into the grey matter of the ones that I love and there is no dead air in between... there are no hurt feelings, no miscommunications. And the worst of those conversations come when my people are no longer around to hear the real words... when they will really never or most likely never get to hear or feel the things I meant to say, should have said, needed them to know... Loved ones you must know my heart... if I can't get it out right... look a little harder... and I will do my best to reciprocate...

This reminds me of someone.... hmmmm

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Shocking

Things that might surprise you about the hippo:



1. I enjoy postmortem photography. Not that I enjoy the postmortem part, and I don't enjoy modern Kodak instacam versions of it (like NOTHING IN COLOR Please)... but photographs that were taken in an era when those may be the only photograph a family had of their deceased loved one... that intrigues me. I also like learning little tidbits about the method of photography and knowing that the flowers weren't for decoration they were to mask the odor of the corpses.

2. I stink so bad at general math that I must use a calculator to add 2 and 2. But I can calculate the tip upside down across the table to make it an even dollar amount at a restaurant.. Not only can I do that but it will be within the required tip percentage of the server... Not much marketability in that skill... sigh.

3. As a child, one of my favorite daydream scenarios of my grown up life involved me living in the woods in a lone cabin with a horse... I would have the longest hair ever and only see other people on my rare forays into the nearest town for necessities. I could completely visualize each and every detail of how my house would be and how I would spend my time. It, at the time, seemed like the most perfect way to live. If I wasn't so spoiled on amenities now, it would probably hold a pretty decent appeal.

4. I have never eaten a salad in my life. As a matter of fact, the only lettuce that I have ever eaten was accidentally on my taco. Contrary to the fact that one has never been eaten by me, I would actually like to overcome whatever mental block I have to salads because I think I could grow to like them. Sadly, I doubt this will ever happen.

5. I love chocolate SOOO much that I used to eat cookie sandwiches (made of Chips Ahoy cookies, chocolate icing and Hershey Bars), BUT I loathe chocolate milk, fudge, and ganache. They belong in chocolate solitary confinement for being so bad.

6. When my oldest son was younger, I tried to teach him Braille JUST IN CASE.... (I can add nothing of value to that revelation!)

7. Pickle is one of my favorite words to use frequently, but I cannot stand actual pickles... They are gross.

8. I never learned the Electric Slide or any other choreographed group dance outside of my 9th grade chorus class.. unless you count the Time Warp... and I only barely do...

Family Fun

What we did this weekend...

Conversations with the weirdos

My children are silly.... Examples below:


1. On the way to a local store, Daniel looks over at me in the car and gets a puzzled face. "Mom", he says, "um, you know those hot, flat iron things that straighten your hair? Are you gonna get one? 'Cause sometimes your hair is crazy...........No offense."

2. Last night was a bath night. The kids have such dry skin that if they don't get dirty, we skip a night. Anyway, Aurelia was bathed and tucked in and Daniel was playing in the tub. I told him goodnight and went downstairs knowing that when he is done he gets out and can handle all the post washing duties himself. Around 9:30, I went back up to retrieve my robe for my own shower. His room light was on, so I went to say goodnight again. He was standing by his bed, shivering, wrinkled like a prune, muttering he'd lost track of time... I thought he meant he hadn't meant to be up so late... NOPE... he had JUST gotten out of the bathtub... TWO HOURS in the water... So I tucked him into bed, and covered him up, hugged him, and he says,"Ahhhhh, your hugs are sooooo warm..."

3. The name of the volunteer group that I work with is CASA. Whenever my son hears me talk about it, he gets a puzzled look on his face. Some time back, he asked me what CASA was and I tried to give him a child-friendly version of what CASA's do... which sometimes involves going to people's houses. A look of recognition spread over him (they dole out a little Spanish at the public school) and said "OH you go their casa's?"... And so that is what my little man will believe for as long as possible. I really hope that innocence lasts for some time to come!!

Possibilities

Recently I got wind of something that made my happy go over the ten! It is a total 11! And yet, in an attempt to obtain that something I picked and worried over something all day long... took it out, looked at, put it away, thought about it some more, took it out... poke poke poke all day long... I finally finished with it and sent it along to see if it could bring me the happy. I don't know if it will work or not, if my attempts to seem professional and light hearted were successful, but I do know that the mere thought of the happy that is possible beyond the 11 makes it all ok. If things are meant to be then they are, if not my quiet little goofy life will roll right on along. But, boy oh boy, that happy sure is shiny!

park21

park21
Originally uploaded by hippoxmas

Sweet little duckies.. are the birds are cute too!

park15

park15
Originally uploaded by hippoxmas

Baby Peach striking a pose...