Recently, I have been concerned about my children and how suitable they are for public consumption. I am letting go of that. I don't care what the public at large thinks of my children, if they are happy, well, and not hurting anyone. So whether I feel like they are getting the hairy eyeball because I am paranoid and have low self esteem or because they really are, it no longer makes one iota of a difference to me!
I want to make decisions for my oldest to help him. I want to guide him to the best life he could have in the pursuit he deems most appealing. I want to shake him until he realizes that things that are worth having never come easily. But instead, I am going to swallow the tremendously large lump in my throat and sit back to wait for his decisions. I will earnestly try to refrain from a constant stream of my advice unless he has asked for it. (TRY, TRY, TRY). But I must let him go. He must make his decisions and mistakes and reap benefits and repercussions all by himself. SO much harder than leaving them at kindergarten, watching them walk unassisted, discover the world outside of your arms... SO much harder.
I've been searching for ways to help my little one out of her perpetual baby phase. At five years old, she wants me to help her eat her soup and oatmeal. She speaks through a small hole in the top of her head that makes her voice high and squeaky. I want her to grow up.... until I turn on the tv and see that people take children and throw them in the garbage. Then I remember, she is MY baby. I'll make her feed herself, but I'm not going to hurry her along anymore.
Hug your babies, no matter how old or young. The days fly by, even when they seem to be dragging, and that old saying "the best is yet to come" is wrong. The Best is already here and we'll miss it if we don't take the time to look.
5 years ago
